[Tango-L] Not dancing with the music

[Felicity Graham]

Lois said:

*"You learn technique by dancing with discriminating partners for 30 years"*

I agree but would change the "for 30 years" to "starting now"!

Michael said:


*"Ming wanted to know how women tell men they are off beat (or any
other complaint?) Simple, don't dance with them anymore....Women have a lot
of power in tango. Either they don't know it or don't know how to use it*

Completely agreed. But I think all dancers have power actually, we just
sometimes disempower ourselves. We can use the practica to work things
out.  I dance/walk a lot on my own to music.  That, watching good, musical
dancers and listening all the time to the music are pretty much all I've
done with regard to the music - and that's after already knowing the
music.  I have not found anyone who has done these things & found them not
to work.  Then again, I'm not sure I've come across many who've just done
these things to start with - it just happens eventually once people start
dancing a lot in the milonga.  But if you start off listening to the music
I think it happens faster.   I strongly believe you have to know the music
and hate dancing music I don't know. The way I learnt the music was dancing
as the woman first & I believe doing that with more experienced partners it
is the only worthwhile way for guys to learn to dance. I think being on the
receiving end also makes them clear, gentle, altogether better leads.

Michael said:

*"Women were paying the same amount for class but not getting the
same amount of benefit. (That could be a separate topic.)"*

This is why I left.  I wasn't enjoying it, had to dance with people I
didn't want to and felt I was paying to be a prop for the guys to learn
these steps - which they almost never executed anyway (and almost never
well) in a milonga. When I realised I was going to class as the woman but
listening to the guy's part so I could help them through it I realised the
whole thing was absurd. And yet the teachers were lovely. It wasn't the
class, it was the framework, the underlying idea that was wrong.

The new guys should be learning as women first, with more experienced
partners, not beginner guy with beginner woman.  That's why I think the
practica model suits new people better. Yes, things are less clear-cut than
in class, but is that necessarily a bad thing?  There's a lot to be said
for sitting, watching and taking in the music until someone experienced
invites you.  And it's closer to how things are in the milonga - and
probably with the same people.
- Felicity