[Tango-L] Not dancing with the music

[Felicity Graham]

Ming Mar said:

*"People aren't dancing with the music even when the music is d'Arienzo, so
I don't think the problem is difficult music."*

There is hard d'Arienzo! There is some Di Sarli harder (or at least faster)
than others,  Biagi can be hard, plenty of milonga, fast vals are all
harder than say, most Canaro (no slur intended - quite the opposite).
There are unquestionably harder and easier tracks but I notice people often
just do tend to avoid hard tracks if they are less experienced - provided
they have the option, which in class, they don't.  I dislike and rarely
dance a lot of mainstream Di Sarli now after hearing it ad nauseam in
class.

Ming Mar said:

 "*Why aren't *(more?) women complaining to the teachers? "

They do - when they move out of class to the milongas and practicas.

*Do the teachers dance with the music?*
I have not found it at all to be the case that being a teacher by
definition means you are nicer to dance with and more musical in the
milonga.

Ming Mar said:

*"It is impolite to criticize someone, so how are they *ever going to know?"

I think a practica is a good place to have the kinds of conversations you
wouldn't want to have in a milonga.  That is the purpose - for students to
try things out and talk to one another - talk to the people they hope to
have good experiences with in the milonga.  To use the recent example I
think I (eventually) did say to someone in a practica that if they wanted
me to move round them they would have to turn their chest more (unless they
wanted me to just go through the motions).  But when I'm in the other role
if I feel the partner doesn't want to do things we just do something else.

A lot of these things can be done by feel & I find the kind of sensitive
dancers that pick up on that are the kind of partners I like - whether new
or experienced.  In a milonga I very clearly refused to be pushed around by
a guy, not a word was said, but after a couple of tracks he stopped and
things worked out well.  I often apologise to partners when they surprise
me with volcadas and voleos and say I don't do them - and I don't, (well,
not often willingly, but it depends). I wouldn't expect them, and don't
generally find them in good dances.  But different people like different
things.

Ming Mar said:

*"Felicity listed what she required:  stays in the line of dance, is
safe, dances the music, isn't forceful, and has a
nice embrace.  To the teachers on this list, are your men part of the
10% she would accept?"*

I think those things are hard to teach.   How do you teach staying in the
line of dance except by, well, doing it?  I think I need to work on not
crowding the guy ahead, and so I do, by dancing.  How do you teach
gentleness or a nice embrace? Those are very personal things, worked out
between the people in the dance & if it's not working, in practicas ideally
with more experienced dancers but in any case, one to one whether with a
teacher or someone else, someone who treats you well, who is helpful and
careful more than critical and that you like to dance with.  A lot of the
time I think it is about compatibility, as in life. The great thing about
practicas is you can be more sure the more experienced partner's only
agenda is most likely to make you a nicer dancer for them to dance with, as
opposed to making you come back and give them more money.   Also, I find
single sources of feedback invariably fallible & get a better sense of what
I'm like to dance with from a range of opinion.

- Felicity