[Tango-L] Advice from a 3 1/2 yr old.

[Alexis Cousein]

On 24/04/2011 08:05, Mario wrote:
>   3. dont be nice while dancing...be nice before and after the dance but women will not respect
 >   a man who is 'nice' while dancing.

I guess I must be universally reviled ;).

Let's just say, in the unlikely event this isn't obvious troll-bait,
that I couldn't disagree more.

Women won't respect a man who isn't leading, but leading well isn't
the opposite of "nice", it's the opposite of "weak". In fact, you
have to lead exactly because you have an obligation to be nice.
Dancing with a weak leader is anything but nice.

Doesn't mean you can't challenge them. But challenging them is making
them dance something they *can* handle but that's surprising to them,
not making them dance something they *can't* handle.

And if you mistakenly dance something they can't handle, then it's 
actually still your responsibility to be graceful about it and to
resolve it without them ever noticing that you meant to dance
something else. And if you want to become better, it's also better
to then think not that "they can't handle it" but to ask yourself
if there's a better way to lead it that would be harder to
misinterpret (yet still gentle: leading is still inviting,
not throwing around).

 > that's what you have got to get to believe that you have the
 > right to manage  as you wish...good luck!

With that attitude, you'll need all the luck you can get yourself.

You have no right to manage except the right granted to you by the
follower. Treat her with disrespect and you'll soon have no rights
at all (at least with respect to that one follower).