[Tango-L] Cabeceo & the "no"

[Michael]

Technically, the woman never says "no" with cabeceo. If wants to dance, she 
will nod "yes." If she doesn't want to dance, she looks away from the man as 
if she never saw the invitation. In fact, if she isn't interested in dancing 
with the man, she would never make eye contact in the first place. It's the 
verbal invitation that requires a verbal response.

The bottom line is dancers aren't required to justify "no." A woman can 
accept an invitation from another dancer even if she declined using cabeceo. 
The etiquette is not to accept an invitation after verbally saying "no."

If it's too late and she discovers during the tanda that it's not going to 
work, she can truthfully say "I'm off balance" or "I'm having difficulty 
following." How the man reacts will determine if the tanda continues and if 
the woman will dance again with him.

Daniel Trenner said a festival "There's NO security in tango."

Michael
I danced Argentine Tango --with the Argentines

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Patricia Katz" <pkatz at trebnet.com>
Subject: [Tango-L] Cabaceo & the "no"


> The question is: how does a follower convey to a leader that the "no" 
> doesn't mean forever, but means that when this particular leader improves 
> then she will accept his invitation, whether by cabaceo or a direct verbal 
> invitation?

> A cabeceo doesn't address this problem. The "no" doesn't necessarily mean 
> forever; the woman can give all sorts of excuses for not dancing with a 
> particular leader, but how does she actually tell him that he needs to 
> improve before she will dance with him? For many leaders the "no" means 
> that she doesn't want to dance with him and he really isn't sure of the 
> reason why, even though she gives some excuses. Most leaders don't feel 
> that the  "no" is because they are not at the level of this leader; this 
> particular leader may think that she doesn't like him or that she's a 
> "snob" or not
> part of her particular "clique". Most followers here as I indicated in my 
> previous post, will accept an invitation from leaders who may be far below 
> her level.
> http://www.torontoargentinetango.blogspot.com