[Tango-L] Social-ethical behaviors and protocols

[Ruben Malan]

Re: [Tango-L] Social-ethical behaviors and protocols

Independently of what was in the mind of the first milongueros, I believe
with confidence that to consider the premise: "chasing the opposite sex is
the main objective in the mind of contemporary milongas attendees either
here or elsewhere" as valid is 100%questionable and even unacceptable. The
first set of realistic concerns that pop up right away in my mind are:

1) It twist or prostitute (thinking in its origins) the whole new concept
and "reason d'être" of modern Argentine Tango dancing.

2) It is dangerous, an invitation to trouble.

3) It may jeopardize the preservation of good relationships and
communication among dancers.

4) It is a no-no particularly in many contemporary milongas where more and
more often we witness the presence and participation of teens, minors, and
even children.

5) With an increasing percentage we are also observing the attendance of
married couples and also married dancers whose spouses are not attending
simply because they do not like tango, they are absent, or they cannot
dance.

6) Local milongas and practilongas are gradually becoming periodic family
and friendly oriented gatherings where a group of well known community
dancers are socializing, sharing ideas, practicing new concepts, and
learning from each other, in a cozy environment, supposedly free of concerns
that some needy (single or not) individual may put her o his eyes (and
hands) in your significant one, looking for something "else" than dancing.

7) The demands of A.T. are such that an authentic and committed dancer
cannot get distracted with this "chases" and all the subsequent maneuvers if
he wants to be good.

8) Those that do not adequate prioritize their goals and ignore décor
exhibiting improper conduct may be tolerated at milongas, but they are
easily detected and often avoided putting themselves on the spot "de
 gratis."

The second statement: "People take up all sorts of hobbies hoping to meet
people and find love is just a personal opinion and a gross generalization.
My own hobby as an example may be enough. Just
let me discard for a moment the love for music, passion for art, enjoyment,
neuro-motor improvement, musicianship, refinement, and a mean of
self-expression, among many other "good reasons" in my list of genuine
motivations. Since music is my hobby and my profession it will be reasonable
to say that I also play, practice, and teach for money, recognition, or
both. Indeed, I did it during practically all my long life and 27 years of
marriage with absolutely no need to meet people or find love.

However, in our society it seems that almost everything is accepted,
including "making a catch" at A.T. dances, with the following convenient
excuses in mind: --It is not illegal! --What is bad for one is good for
others! --I'm clear with my conscious! --What are you talking about? --It is
a free country! --Go for it! --If not now when? --Why not? --It is nothing
wrong!  And so on.

Ruben