[Tango-L] Tango-L/ Social-ethical behaviors and protocols.

[Nicetune Piazzola]

Tango-L/
Social-ethical behaviors and protocols.


“Are there any traditional unspoken
rules at Buenos Aires’ Milongas [or elsewhere] regarding how accompanied women …”  
(Proper conduct ignored. Cultural differences?)

 

A very touchy and timely tread, indeed! 



What I am about to relate could be relevant to
cultural differences and ignorance of proper dancing codes at the 
milonga. Or, perhaps, a personal experience irrelevant to the milonga. You be
the judge.

    

Recently, I went to a milonga with my ex-girlfriend, (an experienced 
milonguera) in this city in mid Florida.  We both knew most of the other
 dancers and they
were familiar with us and our relationship except for few (3 or 4) new
guests.  That night, I got to dance only one tanda with her as she 
danced
again and again with a newcomer (unknown to me), enthusiastically 
talking while
waiting during the cortinas.  She showed an evident flirtatious attitude
(accommodating her hair with both arms up, and other well known 
seductive
gestures and postures).  She walked several times to where the gentleman
was sitting and invited him to dance. In addition, he danced almost 
exclusively
with her.  I was astonished by her behavior and began steaming up. 

 

She got offended later on after the dance, when I tried to discuss
her behavior at the milonga.  She categorically denied my observations,
refused to discuss the issue arguing that she did not know what I was talking
about and that "I'm an insecure man." Then, she sabotaged our
relationship by being angry, refusing any reasonable dialog, arguing that
she had to “lick her wounds.” We broke up two days later.

 

Although all this may be irrelevant to the tread, what is interesting to point
out, is the fact that I was judged to be an angry, judgmental, jealous, and
controlling man by few of her close friends who, considered that she had done
nothing wrong.  


On the other hand, some other dancers, shared my opinion; according to them she
had exhibited tactless, inconsiderate, and even improper behavior, placing
me in a humiliating position; all of this aggravated by her subsequent
inability to have a rational discussion, adopting a defensive, haughty, and
resentful stance.



Nicetune