[Tango-L] Chicho interview - "Violent Milonguero" vs. "niceclose embrace": what to do?

[Michael]

Anton:
American culture and milnogas are completely different from Argentine 
culture and milongas. You can't use cabeceo in a milonga that is just about 
pitch black. My ballroom teacher told me that American women are taught to 
wait-- and wait -- and wait. Asking a man to dance is being aggressive and 
shows no class. This attitude carries over to milongas where women just 
wait. On airplanes, passengers are told the nearest exit may be behind them. 
At a milonga, the closest dancer may be behind or to their side, but they 
don't look there, only onto the dance floor.

Based on a non random sample of woman I queried in Washington, DC and 
Denver, women told me they want a firm, but gentle lead on beat, and with 
confidence. My teacher told me to give the woman a firm frame and let her 
decide how close to dance. React to how she holds YOU and not the other way 
around.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Michael
I danced Argentine Tango --with the Argentines

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Anton Stanley" <anton at alidas.com.au>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Chicho interview:  what to do?




 The cabeceo gives ultimate power to the woman to refuse a dance without 
publicly injuring the ego or dignity of the suitor. Why is it such a problem 
for Western women to practice it? Is the problem that W. Women don't
want to appear to be soliciting for a dance. Why can't they admit they want 
a dance? Natural law would suggest that leaders who constantly fail to win a 
dance, will either fade away, or re-engineer themselves to become more
successful. It's got that Tango feel about it don't you think?
>
But how do I know what a woman wants? Even though 3 years and countless 
lessons have ticked by since I
embarked on tango, my greatest battle still lies in understanding how each 
woman wants to be embraced and led. Although I believe this to be the most 
important aspect of the dance, I think I have had minimal instruction on
what is ideal. "invite and then follow"; "take me with you"; "strong lead"; 
"gentle lead" "gentle embrace"; "firm embrace"; "soft" "hard" etc. It 
appears one size does not fit all.

 Anton