[Tango-L] Chicho interview - "Violent Milonguero" vs. "nice close embrace": what to do?

[joanneprochaska@aol.com]

Many followers I have talked to are in despair over the fact that many of
heir local leaders have stopped improving. But from a leader's point of
iew, after all, he gets an acceptable number of dances at his current skill
evel.  After getting all dressed up for a milonga, followers might rather
ave a "violent" lead than none at all. In some way, the dilemma seems to
eed a community approach, because each individual follower may have clear
ncentives not to be the one to "bear the bad news".
Any ideas how to get around the dilemma?



Brian,
I am so impressed that you are looking for a solution to the followers' despair.  I thank you for your awareness and for your interest.  This truly reflects good character on your part.
We as women and followers need to have more pride in ourselves, need to value quality rather than quantity, and need to communicate this to other women so we can all be on the same page, we can support each other and we can educate each other.  
What do students do when the food at the cafeteria is soooooo bad?????  If we keep eating it and not say anything, will the food get any better?  NO! But if the students band together and protest, and refuse to buy more meal tickets, then the administration listens and makes changes to improve the situation.  
It depends on who needs whom.  In my book, women should be quite confident that if one man cannot meet her needs (give her a nice dance), then, not to worry because there is another one who can, and never go running after that first man like he was the only man at the milonga.  I would rather sit all night then have bad dances.  I would rather dance with a green-as-grass beginner than be manhandled by a guy who has been dancing for several years but has no quality or respect.   Hey, maybe that is just me, but I am sure that there is at least one other woman reading this who is thinking "wow, how can I get that kind of confidence?"  
And when the topic comes up, I am not afraid to say that I won't dance with so and so because he is clueless after several years of lessons. And when the other woman agrees that that man is leading in a disrespectful way, I say that it is ALWAYS the woman's choice.  She does not have to dance with anyone she does not want to dance with.  If the men hold it against her, then we might as well as be living in a police state, eh???
Teachers need to teach their women students that IT IS OK TO SAY NO, and why.  If women do not uphold the standards of good dancing, then all will "go to xxxx in handbasket:", as they say.  
Joanne Pogros
Cleveland, Ohio
www.tangocleveland.com