[Tango-L] Is it Balls, or just a Heel?

[Trini y Sean (PATangoS)]

-- Mario <sopelote at yahoo.com> wrote: --
> Last nite, a woman remarked to me in a practica; "Move your right arm lower you are lifting mine!"...hmm, that's a new complaint and so I asked " How tall are you?" in order to file the information and apply it
> where appropriate.."What does that have to do with anything?" I get back in an incredulous, pissed-off voice....do I dance with her again?  Am I stupid?

If you said it in an off-tone, then you get what you deserved.  Otherwise, you're right - she's a heel.  There's no need for anyone at a practica to give someone an attitude.  Plus, why couldn't she rearrange her arm so that it's not affected by your arm?  

Being 5'4", I rarely have to adjust my right arm when I lead, but tall men have more issues with this.  I bet she's never considered taken that into account and hasn't figured out that she should adjust too.  When I follow men of all different heights, I am always adjusting my left arm so that it doesn't interfere with the leader.  For tall guys, I embrace him lower down on his back and my arm clears his arm.

Although, gentlemen, it's very chivalrous of you to take care of the women, please remember that women also need to take care of the leader if they want to become good dancers, too.


-- robin tara <robinctara at gmail.com> wrote:
> I remember a night when I had been waiting for a wonderful
> dancer to catch my eye and ask for a dance. The moment he finally chose to ask was just after I had declined to dance with a guy who is rough and
> abusive on the dance floor. I had to say no - I had to risk the fate of
> never dancing with him again because I was using proper milonga etiquette. 

Robin, I would have gone ahead and accepted the dance with the second guy.  Perhaps the first guy will get a clue.  Or he might think you're a ____, and he might not ever ask you again.  Hooray!



> I have been dancing since 1961 and one of the first lessons I had to 
> learn was: if someone turns you down for a dance, for any reason or 
> none, don't EVER ask her again. The rejection will only be crueller 
> next time.
> 
> John Ward
> Bristol, UK

I hope you're saying this in jest, John, because you'd be missing out on a lot of good dances.  But if you want to let fear rule your dancing...whatever.  Though perhaps you can teach that to Robin's first guy.  The women might be grateful.


Happy tangos to all,
Trini de Pittsburgh