[Tango-L] Is it Balls, or just a Heel?

[Ilene Marder]

Hi Robin,
I've had this happen too. I just tell the dancer I want to dance with ( 
but cannot because I just turned someone down), that indeed I have just 
turned somone down and that I hoped he would ask me the next tanda. I 
kind of whispered it to him and he completely understood and did ask me 
again that night.
Followers have the right to dance with whom they want, just as leaders 
do when they chose to ask a particular person. There are times I have 
said yes to someone because the situation was right, and no to the same 
person because the situation wasn't right for me. If the decline comes 
nicely, there is usually little fallout.
I.

robin tara wrote:

>Jack wrote:
>"If a girl turns you down at a milonga, without a good reason, don't ask her
>again. As you improve, it'll be her loss."
>
>Dear Jack,
>
>There are so many unexplainable reasons why a woman might refuse a dance
>that it is unfair to blackball a woman because she won't dance with you at
>that particular moment.
>
>I remember a night when I had been waiting for a wonderful dancer to catch
>my eye and ask for a dance. The moment he finally chose to ask was just
>after I had declined to dance with a guy who is rough and abusive on the
>dance floor. I had to say no - I had to risk the fate of never dancing with
>him again because I was using proper milonga etiquette. And there was no way
>to explain it.
>
>So in the first case I turned down a guy and hoped he would never ask me to
>dance again and in the second case I turned down a guy I would have happily
>danced with all night.
>
>How can a woman decline a dance and make sure the man understands that it is
>not him, it is the particular circumstance?
>
>Best,
>
>Robin
>
>http://www.taratangoshoes.com
>http://www.tangotique.com
>_______________________________________________
>Tango-L mailing list
>Tango-L at mit.edu
>http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l
>
>  
>