[Tango-L] Lead an invitation that can be ignored or fought

[Trini y Sean (PATangoS)]

--- On Tue, 9/16/08, Mario <sopelote at yahoo.com> wrote:

>    I dare say that, in North America, who leads and who
> follows will soon have to be negotiated...hence, the
> confusion. Certainly expecting a woman to follow everything
> you  lead, without negotiation first, would be terribly
> demanding and chauvinistic.


Trini, here.  This issue came up a couple of weeks ago in a milonga workshop with Susana Miller.  Her initial response to a question was pretty much along Sergio's remarks, but she offered a further explanation.  A man proposes a movement and she "answers" but she knows that her answer affects the man's next proposal.  So there is a dialogue going.  And she always has the option of not dancing with them the next time he asks.

And I'm afraid as long as tango communities have limited competition and people feel social pressure to dance with everyone or folks feel entitled to a dance by anyone who "should" be dancing with them, this issue will always rear it's head.

Trini de Pittsburgh