[Tango-L] 30 seconds of chit-chat an Argentine custom

[Nina Pesochinsky]

When women are very young, they want men to talk to them.  It is the  
only way they know how to connect.  This is "female".  Girls are not  
only born that way, but also socialized.  When women mature, some  
loose their attraction to talk because they have heard a lot and not  
much is new.  They also have other ways of recognizing the meaning of  
various interactions and their importance.

It is very interesting to see and hear adolescent boys talk about the  
girls they like - they are not eager to talk to them.  Instead, they  
are happy to see them, even from a distance.  They know that they need  
to talk to her, if they have any intentions of asking her out, but  
seeing the girl seems much more important.

I am always amazed at how the boy-girl interaction repeats itself in a  
man-woman interaction in tango. Watching the people in the milongas  
internationally for years, I have observed that the moment the dance  
stops, the women's mouths begin to move.  Some never stop.  They sit  
down and don't stop talking.  It is easy to chat when the dance  
experience is simply pleasant and inconsequential.  The words don't  
happen when it is something else.

But the chit-chat also can help people feel safe - from each other,  
from themselves.

There is an old saying - "Men love with their eyes, and women love  
with their ears."  In my experience living in Argentina, the men of  
that culture know this little piece of wisdom.

Best,

Nina

> Sergio Vandekier wrote:
>
>> It was said:
>>
>> "What I've read about the chit chat in BsAs and it's origins, was   
>> that was the only chance for a young suitor to talk to the girl   
>> with whom he was dancing with, because it would not have been   
>> proper to sit next to her after the dancing; she was there with a   
>> chaperone. Remember the strong Catholic roots of South America and   
>> how difficult it is/was for a young man to get to knowa young,   
>> proper, woman, and to impress her. "
>>
>>
>>
>>
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