[Tango-L] 30 seconds of chit-chat an Argentine custom

[Sergio Vandekier]

It was said:

"What I've read about the chit chat in BsAs and it's origins, was that was the only chance for a young suitor to talk to the girl with whom he was dancing with, because it would not have been proper to sit next to her after the dancing; she was there with a chaperone. Remember the strong Catholic roots of South America and how difficult it is/was for a young man to get to knowa young, proper, woman, and to impress her. "

It is not proper for a man to sit by the woman at the milonga but not due to our "Catholic upbringing".   

It is the custom that women that wish to dance with different partners sit alone or in the company of other women.   People in Argentina are extremely respectful of any starting or on going relationship between a man and a woman.  So if a woman allows a certain gentleman to sit by her, or if she walks from the street in the company of a man, or if she in any form or manner shows special interest in a particular man, the other men will not ask her to dance.

If a woman comes alone to the milonga but it is known that she is in a relationship with a man (who is not present at the moment), the other men will not ask her to dance. (except perhaps by close friends of both of them).

So if a lady wishes to dance with different partners she has to be perceived as being unattached.

If a man is interested in a particular lady,he will have to invite her for a cup of coffee at a certain bar, where  they will meet after the milonga. (Here is the importance of the little chit-chat between tangos).

They both, the lady and the gentleman will leave the milonga separately and keep this relationship secret for a while, till they decide that they wish to dance only with each other.

The woman declines any invitation to dance out of respect for her companion.    Recently I arrived to a milonga and saw a beautiful lady sitting across the room, I stared, she stared back and nodded, but remained sitting. I approached her table - she said - I would love to dance with you but at the moment I have company (he had gone to the restroom) - perhaps on another occasion - she added with a smile. 

I still remember the first time I went to dance in the USA. I met a very attractive girl; we danced, we laughed, we talked, we sat together. Everything was perfect till a male friend of hers came to the table and asked her to dance - she said to me - I will be right back - and went to dance with him.  

I felt deeply disappointed and left that place (country dancing) as fast as I could. 

As to chaperones... this is another story... 

Best regards, Sergio


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