[Tango-L] Labor Day Festival: a complaint

[Tom Stermitz]

Of course the unmentioned but related problem is gender balance.  
Obviously, the women don't like sitting, and the men don't like being  
on the spot. Even if they aren't being pursued, they feel guilty. Both  
are negative feelings.

In general, women are more likely to take privates and spend money to  
travel for good tango.  Guys face some performance anxiety issues when  
faced with the intensity of a crowded, energetic dance floor. It's  
just more daunting for the guys, and he has to deal with launching  
ideas and managing the crowded floors.

If each tango city sends 4 men and 5 women to a festival, it doesn't  
sound like a problem, but when this gets applied to 300 dancers, you  
have 30 extra women.


BALANCE LOCALLY

If the overall problem seems overwhelming, let's divide it into  
smaller pieces where individuals can have an impact. I urge all  
festival attendees (women AND men) to talk around with your friends to  
see who may be coming from their own community, and to make efforts to  
balance locally. Recognize that the guys may need a little coaxing,  
especially if it is their first road-trip. Work out car sharing or  
roommates to help with costs.

At the festival, take classes to meet and mix. It does help to show  
off your friends, and introduce them around; but you don't have to  
dance with them the whole time... trade them off to ladies from other  
communities.


SECOND REASON TO BALANCE LOCALLY

The purpose of a festival is to meet lots of new and old friends,  
create an intense dance experience and feel the excitement you get  
with a room full of good dancers. This can be a transformative  
experience. (I find that for the few days after a festival, the world  
is a pastel and dreary place, a sort of tango hangover). You don't  
want the festival to be just a pleasant memory. You want the  
transformative experience to continue when you return home, and that  
requires BOTH men and women to carry the festival energy.


On Sep 2, 2008, at 11:14 AM, NANCY wrote:

> I'm not going to mince words here.  There is something happening at  
> festivals and maybe at milongas that is not pretty.  Too many women  
> are being way too aggressive in asking, no! in demanding dances from  
> leaders.  Even from leaders they do not know.  The men are  
> complaining.  They are trying to hide.  They have turned down these  
> women who have the nerve to return with hostility and ask again.  
> These women are grabbing men on the dance floor before they have  
> even disengaged from their current partners.  They are lying in wait  
> at the entrance to the ballroom to snag guys before they even enter  
> the venue.
>
> I understand.  We have come a long way and spent a lot of money to  
> attend these events.  But......what happened to 'waiting your  
> turn'?  What entitles YOU to dance more than I?  The guys are  
> great.  They try to dance with old friends they have danced with  
> over the years.  They try to get around to everyone they know and  
> then also ask the women who might otherwise sit. But I had four  
> different men tell me the women in Albuquerque were being 'mean' and  
> demanding and pushy.  One even described being hurt so badly by a  
> woman who tried stuff he had not led and she was not capable of  
> executing so that he was disabled for the rest of the event - much  
> to the chagrin of his wife.  And I was not the only one who heard  
> these complaints.
> delier Nat'l Monument.
>
> Nancy
> A veteran of this festival and several others