[Tango-L] Milonga Codes and weird anecdotes

[Maria Olivera]

Amazing Melina!

I remember I was there when the threatening "you made a big mistake"
happened...

I had several experiences myself with the lack of etiquette at Milongas...I
know I was responsible of some of them because I didn’t want to look
"snobby" and I know some people are way too sensitive to that idea, so I
agreed to dance tandas that I should have said "no, thanks".

A couple of weeks ago I was dancing in a USA city (no need to mention which
one) and I ended up feeling so annoyed that I asked my partner to leave.
First, I was having dinner, to be precise, I was chewing a piece of bread
with hummus, and there comes the host of the milonga and invites me to
dance...I felt like I didn't want to turn him down and said yes, feeling
very uncomfortable (that was my mistake). So I danced the first song while I
chewed my bread.

Right after that, during a Cortina, I stand up from my table to go to the
ladies room, for which I had to cross the dance floor that was empty, of
course. A young boy jumps up from his table and comes to me to invite me to
dance to some music that was not being played yet. I told him I was on my
way to the ladies room and left. But when I came back (the tanda had already
begun) and I was heading directly to my chair without even looking towards
where this boy was, he jumps at me again and says "so, let's dance"...again,
I felt I was being forced to say yes, and so I did. Of course, they guy
didn't even thought that my style of dancing (which he had seen previously
during the little demo my partner and I were doing) had nothing to do with
his style, and definitely I wouldn't dance with him if I would have been
able to chose.

And finally, the strawberry of the cake: The next tanda comes, a guy invites
me to dance, I was not on the mood any longer, but I said yes again. Between
songs I said all the indirect sentences I could think of to try to lead him
to say "if you want to seat...please, do it"...but he would reply in the
most selfish ways I could imagine: 

- "I'm tired, this concrete dance floor makes my legs weight a ton"
- "For me is OK, I work on concrete floor everyday"
- "It's really hot here, isn't the air conditioning working, how does
everybody keeps dancing?"
- "Oh, I'm used to this weather, it doesn't bother me at all"

And so on...

After that tanda I just told my partner and my friends that I wanted to go
home...and I started to understand how important it is to talk about the
usage of the etiquette and that it's supposed to be used to allow the
dancers NOT to dance with anybody they don't want to, or in any situation
they don't want to, for whatever reason.

So, Melina, you're doing the right thing, as usual! Please, keep reinforcing
this concepts! We'll do the same to the extent we can.

Hugs!
María
www.tangosalon.com.ar

PS: I posted this message today but it didn't get to the group, maybe it was
too big, I hope now it gets to the list.