[Tango-L] Milonga Codes and weird anecdotes/blowing my nose

[Nina Pesochinsky]

True enough, Randy.

Sometimes it is a true grace when some people do not want to dance  
with you or me or others. Just because someone happens to dance tango  
does not mean that it is their best social talent.

One of the dancers in our dance company said that when she was  
training in ballet, one of her teachers told some girls that they  
should learn to cook and get a husband, because they will never dance.:)

It is important to recognize people's talents.  Sometimes it is  
conversation and not tango.  Sometimes it is neither tango nor  
conversation, but playing chess.  Sometimes if you have really good  
conversations with someone, it might be best not to dance with them  
because it might ruin the conversation.

I think that it is very useful for all tango dancers to learn  
something else to do other than dance that they can do together.   
Singing is useful because with some people in the milongas you can  
sing along and don't need to dance.

Drinking champaign to tango music is another option.  Afterwards, it  
feels as if you had danced together:)

My point is that tango, and being in the milongas, is much more than  
just dancing.  The social universe of tango is immense.  In BsAs,  
there are people whom I have known for many years in the milongas,  
with whom I always chat and catch up, and with whom I have never  
danced and probably will never dance.  And yet, these tango friends  
are no less valuable than the people we dance with.  I also have met  
lovely people, whose company I had enjoyed immensely, with whom I  
finally danced.  Afterwards, I wish I didn't.  Dancing was bleak by  
comparison with a sparkling conversations that we have had.

So when people don't want to dance with you, maybe it is an  
opportunity to discover something else that is interesting about them.

In BsAs, this is easy because people hang out in the milongas for  
hours.  In the US, people are anxious to either dance or go home, and  
hanging out together does not seem to be a priority.

Not dancing can be both a tragedy and a blessing. You have to choose  
which it is moment by moment:)

All the best,

Nina



Quoting rockies at comcast.net:

> A wise friend once said 'why would you want to dance with someone  
> who doesn't want to dance with you?' We are better off concentrating  
> on those who do want to dance with us.
>