[Tango-L] gender imbalance

[David Thorn]

Although I am a lead, I contribute negatively to the gender imbalance situation.  I am an adequately decent dancer, perhaps one of those terminal intermediates who "prey" on the beginners.  I dance with beginning and with advanced follows.  I almost never dance with the intermediate follows.

When a beginner is dangling off my neck, pulling me over, clamping my arm or jumping from foot to foot and generally making my dance unpleasant, I will politely ask ask her to manage her own axis, or to wait, or whatever, and explain that I have a bad rotator cuff, or whatever.  Thinking that I am a good dancer, she will say OK, do so, and then the dance is fine.

The local follows who are advanced know that I am a good, but certainly not excellent, dancer.  However I am good enough that I can give them a decent dance and they will have a good time.  They can also manage their axis, they wait, don't clamp my arm, etc, and no requests are required.  They say yes to my dance invitations and we have a fine dance.

But the intermediate follows, which means most of them, or at least very many, often can not manage their axis, and or don't wait for a lead, and/or....  But, since they know that I am only an intermediate myself, are quite offended if I make any requests, even regarding my damaged rotator cuff.  They KNOW that they are not clamping my arm.  I have simply quit asking them to dance.

Probably slightly passive aggressive, but it does avoid conflict, I can have an excellent evening of dance, and I only feel slightly bad about all those sad intermediate follows lined up against the wall looking hopefully out at the floor.

Cheers

D. David Thorn

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