[Tango-L] Surplus Tanguera - Not (reply to Skip's 1st)

[Jake Spatz]

Skip,

Skip Augustine wrote:
> I [...] have sat out many a tanda of music I would love to dance to, because by the time the music started there was no one appropriate left to dance with.
Have you considered dancing with someone "inappropriate"? I think this 
manner of picking (or trying to pick) the right partner AND the right 
music is a little silly sometimes... especially since it's the DJ who 
picks the music /for/ the dancers.

Still, I think a good DJ doesn't disappoint, in the event that you get a 
partner first (and relax your expectations a little). More on this below.
> it is not at all uncommon while doing this [trying to secure a partner] to have another leader walk right up to her (even if she is in conversation with someone), stick out his hand and say "Would you like to dance?", and the lady will accept.
>   
Sounds like the lady is a bit short on manners too, if she abruptly 
drops her conversation to accept so abrupt an invitation. Have you 
anyone exemplary of /good/ conduct in SD?
> We have several leaders in our community that I unapologetically refer to as tango hogs. They dance a tanda, usually with a desirable follower, and then stay on the dance floor and engage the lady in conversation for the duration of the cortina. Then it's "Oh, more music! Would you like to dance another?"
People do this in DC too-- I'm often one of them. Typically we've 
already decided to dance more, however, so it doesn't matter what the 
music is. If we really don't like the music when tanda #2 starts, we 
simply leave the floor, and perhaps find other partners (or each other, 
if there are no others) if the next song is to our liking.

Sometimes though, people "book" tandas ahead of time-- like, say, a 
milonga tanda. Partner XYZ says "Sorry, Jake, I told PQR I'd dance the 
next milonga set with him." I don't do this, but I don't mind it at all. 
I think it's kinda cool, in a way. If the DJ is sticking to a 
predictable cycle-- TTVTTM, for example-- it's very easy to manage.
> This regularly happens, and can last for anywhere from three to six tandas.
>   
Three to six tandas with one partner, however, is downright absurd.
> 4. Some responders to this thread have suggested that the DJ is in some way responsible for this situation. I respectfully (and vehemently) disagree.
>   
I don't, and I'm a DJ.

The DJ's tanda selections are-- to a large degree-- responsible for the 
ronda. (Many DJs accept this as a commonplace, even if most dancers 
aren't aware of it.) Likewise, the DJ's cortina selections influence the 
dancers' behavior between tandas.

(I've watched DJs wreck an entire tanda by using a bad cortina to 
introduce it. I've seen a few "break the spell" in a very ugly way, by 
crashing a good tanda into a bad cortina.)

Whether or not people are picking partners during cortinas, I think the 
cortina should prep the dancers for what's coming next, in some way. For 
instance, if I'm following a melodious tango set with some light 
milongas, the cortina will most likely be on the peppy side. Were the 
tandas in the reverse order, I would most likely choose something else 
as a cortina to create an effective transition for the dancers.

I'm not saying most dancers notice this consciously. I think most 
dancers react to it though, because I sit there and watch them. So if 
you get a partner during a cortina, and then the tanda begins and it's 
not what you were expecting at all-- if you find it jarringly counter to 
your desires, that is-- then I'd say you have a DJ problem.

Or else that you're being way too picky when it comes to music. Have you 
ever considered chatting up the DJ, to find out what's next? Maybe 
that's the answer for your situation.
> The DJ's job is to play music that a majority of the people will like, and maintain the energy of the milonga through the selection of music.
Precisely: and the cortinas are a subtle part of how that ride gets 
created. Further, the cortina can heavily influence how much you like 
the next tanda-- which is my point above, in a nutshell.
> The DJ is not an etiquette policeman (or woman), even through indirect means, such as inclusion or omission of cortinas.
If I were a DJ in your community, and I saw the behavior you describe, I 
would do all I could to improve the situation. Probably I would start by 
using 45- or 60-second cortinas instead of something shorter. Or I'd 
"frame" the cortinas in more silence, to break up the tandas even further.
> What's puzzling me is why do the women put up with this behavior? Do they like the attention, and don't find it rude, or are they too polite, or timid, to speak up if they don't like it? Or what?
>   
I've asked a few women about this in the past, and I've always gotten 
the same response. When a guy is hogging them, they don't know what to 
do. They just act polite, and stay with him out of fear of being impolite.

Such are the responses I've gotten anyway. I'm glad not all women are 
that self-effacing.

Jake