[Tango-L] How to break couples who do not want to change partners

[meaning of life]

stephen, that is a great list. i would like to add a few more. (as an "often non-switcher")
 
1) some people come to class to spend time with their spouse (or whatever), their agenda is "quality time", not to be the best tango dancer.
 
2) sometimes, especially with night classes, someone has just had a bad day, and wants to "feel comfortable". making them move will make them "uncomfortable", and they will "just not come to class", because they know it will "be bad"
 
a few other things.
 
1) grabbing someone and "moving them" can be a real disaster. you will, at best, loose the couple.
 
2) if you make the switching "for this song only", with a "better partner", you can probably get switching to begin to occur. as long as the couples know that they can "wife up" soon, they will be ok for a song or two.
 
3) i have learned alot from watching my wife dance with "better dancers", if i am watching, i feel still connected, and learn how i should be moving. if she watches me dancing with someone else, she learns "how i am leading", and how she can "do her part". the one "watches" thing, begins the process of "separation" being a "good thing". a "wiley" instructor can use watching to "prove" that separating, at least once in a while, is a critical part of "learning" to dance well.
 
4) show some respect to "the couple", acknowledge the spouse when you want to "touch" or dance with someone. this will drop alot of the barriers of couples being uncomfortable about being close with someone else.
 
5) and "mega dittos" to stephens observation
"Tango is an intimate dance, and intimacy is voluntary. Instructors need to respect the voluntary nature of intimacy if they are to they are to convey a real sense of tango."
dance on
david
The TangonistaSponsered by P.E.T.A. (People Expressing Tango Attitude)NOTICE - no cats were injured in the making of our music> To: Tango-L at mit.edu> From: Stephen.P.Brown at dal.frb.org> Date: Thu, 11 Oct 2007 13:40:27 -0500> Subject: Re: [Tango-L] How to break couples who do not want to change partners> > Interesting situation. Some people arrive at a tango as couples, and some > arrive as singles. The singles may be unhappy with the limited number of > partners in the class if the couples don't participate in the rotation. > There may also be a gender imbalance, which will fall more heavily on the > singles if the couples don't participate in the rotation. The instructor > knows that rotation can help with learning, but rotation also helps > alleviate some of the problems the instructor may face with the singles in > the class.> > Why might the couples be less interested in rotation?> > 1) They don't know enough about tango to know that rotation helps with > learning.> > 2) They don't know the people with whom they will be rotating, and find > the idea of dancing in a close embrace with a stranger to be > uncomfortable.> > 3) They feel threatened by seeing their own partner dancing with someone > else.> > 4) They will share in any gender imbalance even though they didn't help > create it.> > 5) They view some/many/most of the singles as less desirable dance > partners. (Why are the singles without a partner?)> > 6) They don't see everyone as equally skilled in dancing, and either > don't want to embarass themselves by dancing poorly with someone who isn't > a close friend or don't want to waste their time dancing someone isn't as > skilled.> > 7) Some people arrive at tango classes with bad breath, body odors, or > wearing heavy cologne or perfume, and some people may not wish to be > exposed to such scents or have such scents transferred to themselves. > Sticking with one's own partner means that all those issues have already > been worked out.> > An instructor's rush to force rotation--rather than simply to encourage > it--can actually create an environment that is actually unfriendly/hostile > to couples.> > Tango is an intimate dance, and intimacy is voluntary. Instructors need > to respect the voluntary nature of intimacy if they are to they are to > convey a real sense of tango.> > With best regards,> Steve (de Tejas)> > > > _______________________________________________> Tango-L mailing list> Tango-L at mit.edu> http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l
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