[Tango-L] How to break couples who do not want to change partners

[Stephen.P.Brown@dal.frb.org]

Interesting situation.  Some people arrive at a tango as couples, and some 
arrive as singles.  The singles may be unhappy with the limited number of 
partners in the class if the couples don't participate in the rotation. 
There may also be a gender imbalance, which will fall more heavily on the 
singles if the couples don't participate in the rotation.  The instructor 
knows that rotation can help with learning, but rotation also helps 
alleviate some of the problems the instructor may face with the singles in 
the class.

Why might the couples be less interested in rotation?

1)  They don't know enough about tango to know that rotation helps with 
learning.
 
2)  They don't know the people with whom they will be rotating, and find 
the idea of dancing in a close embrace with a stranger to be 
uncomfortable.

3)  They feel threatened by seeing their own partner dancing with someone 
else.

4)  They will share in any gender imbalance even though they didn't help 
create it.

5)  They view some/many/most of the singles as less desirable dance 
partners.  (Why are the singles without a partner?)

6)  They don't see everyone as equally skilled in dancing, and either 
don't want to embarass themselves by dancing poorly with someone who isn't 
a close friend or don't want to waste their time dancing someone isn't as 
skilled.

7)  Some people arrive at tango classes with bad breath, body odors, or 
wearing heavy cologne or perfume, and some people may not wish to be 
exposed to such scents or have such scents transferred to themselves. 
Sticking with one's own partner means that all those issues have already 
been worked out.

An instructor's rush to force rotation--rather than simply to encourage 
it--can actually create an environment that is actually unfriendly/hostile 
to couples.

Tango is an intimate dance, and intimacy is voluntary.  Instructors need 
to respect the voluntary nature of intimacy if they are to they are to 
convey a real sense of tango.

With best regards,
Steve (de Tejas)