[Tango-L] How to break couples who do not want to change partners

[Carol Shepherd]

With all due respect,

Group class structure almost always infers that there will be rotation. 
  Those are the expectations in every group class I have been in, in the 
last decade I have been dancing.  Rotation makes you a better dancer 
because you don't end up 'memorizing' your regular partner's 
idiosyncracies and consequently become unable to [lead/follow] well with 
others.  It also integrates you socially into the dance community, 
introduces you to the other dancers systematically, and keeps you from 
ignoring all your other fellow dancers.

I have different partners all night and I prefer it that way.  I don't 
want to be stuck standing around too much in a small group class with 
2-3 extra of one gender and 4 couples who aren't switching.  It isn't 
fair to me, as a class member.

I think that if couples don't want to switch and dance with others, they 
should seriously consider only taking privates.  Or they can attend 
group classes set up for couples only.  If there are so many couples 
that feel this way (ie, 3 or 4 couples who won't switch in a single 
class), then there is obviously demand for a separate "couples only" class.

One dance teacher here in the Detroit area has a method for dealing with 
non-switchers.  He makes it known in the beginning of the first lesson 
that everyone is expected to rotate.  He allows couples to dance only 
with each other, but then they are not permitted in the lesson circle. 
The couples are in the corners on the outside of the circle and learn 
and practice out there.  Then when he puts on a song for the students to 
dance all the way through, the couples are expected to mix in with the 
rotating students so they can all practice navigating in the line of dance.

As to gender imbalance, at the U of M tango club lessons they ask the 
'extras' who didn't have a partner the last time, to select their 
partner first.  That works well for making sure everyone dances.  The 
other helpful technique is to make sure the dancers rotate more 
frequently when there is a gender imbalance so that no one goes more 
than five minutes without a practice partner.

That being said, dancers certainly do skip past certain other dancers in 
the rotation and refuse to dance with them, in every social dance I have 
ever studied.  I admit to having refused to rotate a handful of times 
over the last 10 years.  I have done this only where a lead has 
repeatedly bullied me about doing my part wrong and the teacher did not 
come to my assistance --  or when there has been a serious hygiene 
problem.  And I feel bad about doing it even then.  If I ever need to 
skip someone, I will go to the bathroom shortly before that point in the 
lesson and then join the circle in a different place, which I think is 
socially less hurtful than deliberately showing everyone else that you 
are skipping over a certain someone in the rotation.

meaning of life wrote:
> stephen, that is a great list. i would like to add a few more. (as an "often non-switcher")
>  
> 1) some people come to class to spend time with their spouse (or whatever), their agenda is "quality time", not to be the best tango dancer.
>  
> 2) sometimes, especially with night classes, someone has just had a bad day, and wants to "feel comfortable". making them move will make them "uncomfortable", and they will "just not come to class", because they know it will "be bad"
>  
> a few other things.
>  
> 1) grabbing someone and "moving them" can be a real disaster. you will, at best, loose the couple.
>  
> 2) if you make the switching "for this song only", with a "better partner", you can probably get switching to begin to occur. as long as the couples know that they can "wife up" soon, they will be ok for a song or two.
>  
> 3) i have learned alot from watching my wife dance with "better dancers", if i am watching, i feel still connected, and learn how i should be moving. if she watches me dancing with someone else, she learns "how i am leading", and how she can "do her part". the one "watches" thing, begins the process of "separation" being a "good thing". a "wiley" instructor can use watching to "prove" that separating, at least once in a while, is a critical part of "learning" to dance well.
>  
> 4) show some respect to "the couple", acknowledge the spouse when you want to "touch" or dance with someone. this will drop alot of the barriers of couples being uncomfortable about being close with someone else.
>  
> 5) and "mega dittos" to stephens observation
> "Tango is an intimate dance, and intimacy is voluntary. Instructors need to respect the voluntary nature of intimacy if they are to they are to convey a real sense of tango."
> dance on
> david
> The TangonistaSponsered by P.E.T.A. (People Expressing Tango Attitude)NOTICE - no cats were injured in the making of our music> To: Tango-L at mit.edu> From: Stephen.P.Brown at dal.frb.org> Date: Thu, 11 Oct 2007 13:40:27 -0500> Subject: Re: [Tango-L] How to break couples who do not want to change partners> > Interesting situation. Some people arrive at a tango as couples, and some > arrive as singles. The singles may be unhappy with the limited number of > partners in the class if the couples don't participate in the rotation. > There may also be a gender imbalance, which will fall more heavily on the > singles if the couples don't participate in the rotation. The instructor > knows that rotation can help with learning, but rotation also helps > alleviate some of the problems the instructor may face with the singles in > the class.> > Why might the couples be less interested in rotation?> > 1) They don't know enough about tango to know that rotation helps with > learning.> > 2) 
They don't know the people with whom they will be rotating, and find > the idea of dancing in a close embrace with a stranger to be > uncomfortable.> > 3) They feel threatened by seeing their own partner dancing with someone > else.> > 4) They will share in any gender imbalance even though they didn't help > create it.> > 5) They view some/many/most of the singles as less desirable dance > partners. (Why are the singles without a partner?)> > 6) They don't see everyone as equally skilled in dancing, and either > don't want to embarass themselves by dancing poorly with someone who isn't > a close friend or don't want to waste their time dancing someone isn't as > skilled.> > 7) Some people arrive at tango classes with bad breath, body odors, or > wearing heavy cologne or perfume, and some people may not wish to be > exposed to such scents or have such scents transferred to themselves. > Sticking with one's own partner means that all those issues have already > been worked out.
> > An instructor's rush to force rotation--rather than simply to encourage > it--can actually create an environment that is actually unfriendly/hostile > to couples.> > Tango is an intimate dance, and intimacy is voluntary. Instructors need > to respect the voluntary nature of intimacy if they are to they are to > convey a real sense of tango.> > With best regards,> Steve (de Tejas)> > > > _______________________________________________> Tango-L mailing list> Tango-L at mit.edu> http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l

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Carol Ruth Shepherd
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