[Tango-L] Igor's Question: a woman's perspective

[Tom Stermitz]

On Oct 2, 2007, at 10:34 AM, Darlene Robertson wrote:

> Hello All,
> ...
>   I have over many years invited, coerced and bribed (with the  
> promise of a date, if you will, for some fellow that actually  
> learned tango) many men to visit our community with the goal of  
> adding them to the Argentine Tango herd.  I have grabbed them from  
> West Coast Swing, East Coast Swing, Country/Western and my former  
> boyfriend (before Tango became my "boyfriend"), Salsa.  I've given  
> free lessons, cheap lessons and encouraged them to go someplace  
> else for group or private lessons, etc.
>
>   They're consensus?  Gosh, I hope you're sitting down.  They  
> didn't like the music.
>
>   Okay, there, I've said it.  Please don't get all your  
> tailfeathers ruffled over yet another discussion about  
> "traditional, alternative, neo, nuevo," etc. on me.  This isn't  
> about that well-worn topic.  Of the 40 or so men, NONE liked the  
> music.  They danced the other stuff because it was what they could  
> hear a beat to, or dance to without thinking or whatever.  What  
> does that tell me?  These guys dance to get laid.  The go to hold  
> women.  They're doing the same thing many of us single people are  
> doing: they're looking for love.  My fault that I didn't find a  
> "dancer" amongst them -- I just didn't get that right!
>
>   Abrazos,
>
>   Darlene

Thanks for this Darlene,

I liked all your comments, but in particular you make an important  
point that so many men DON'T LIKE THE MUSIC (at first, I presume).  
This is strongly related to the other two points: LACK OF CONFIDENCE  
and RETENTION OF GUYS.

I define advanced tango as "simple things done well", but that is  
also a definition of confident tango.

We've been throwing around the terms feminine and masculine, and  
those are useful but loaded terms. A more specific and easier to  
address issue is to address CONFIDENCE or lack thereof. Yes, tango  
requires masculine guys, but at the basic level it isn't that these  
guys aren't masculine. They feel tentative because they aren't  
confident. Tango requires (the follower requires), that the man  
proposes an idea, a step a sequence of steps or whatever. This is  
daunting for the men at first, and the crux of the problem is  
confidence vs uncertainty.

I've taught for ten years, which is important because I've tried and  
abandoned many things with a specific goal of creating better  
retention of the men. Women are important, but they have more  
patience, can learn quickly in privates, and in general have an  
easier time with tangoat the beginning. Retain the men, and we'll  
retain the women.

In my experience, the single most important driver for retaining the  
guys is whether they feel confident. Secondly, the foundation for  
confidence is understanding the music. You can draw a big fat arrow:

MUSICALITY => CONFIDENCE => RETENTION => HAPPY WOMEN.


Teaching Musicality.

So, when I teach I am highly focused on showing the men where the  
beat is and where the musical phrasing is. Change the music, repeat  
and rinse. It takes repetition and time, as this is a strange foreign  
genre to most. Basically, if they don't know the music, then they  
have to be shown exactly where it is, and how to make their movements  
relate to it.

Musicality is when your energy matches the musical energy, the surge  
at the beginning of the phrase, the suspension at the end, the flow  
and "wave" of the waltz, the staccatto of D'Arienzo, the walk of Di  
Sarli, the drama of Pugliese.

Confidence is when you just know what to do in your bones.

I'm sometimes accused of "just teaching walking" because I present  
tango steps or vocabulary more slowly than some teachers, but that is  
a misunderstanding because I'm teaching a MUSICAL way of walking,  
which some might call dancing.

It is no wonder that some dancers like alternative music because they  
can hear it, move to it be inspired by it. Watch a North American  
dance to blues or R&B. That is the "music of our people"; it makes  
sense to us, we can just feel what to do. In fact I use alternative  
precisely for this quality of creating confidence... "Hmmm, I guess I  
CAN dance".


Teaching steps.

Steps? Steps don't equal tango; steps are just the things you do once  
you know tango. This is perhaps why in Argentina you can start with  
the steps. Culturally, they already know tango, what is sounds like,  
looks like, feels like, so they just need to know what to do.

I know, you have teachers who present lots and lots of steps. This is  
so typical of new teachers and Intermediate dancers. Let me show you!  
This is an ocho, this is a volcada, this is a shoe shine, this is a  
whoop-de-do. They are teaching at the level they are learning, not  
the level where a beginner is learning.

Teaching lots of steps keeps the guys in a constant state of un- 
confidence and un-ability. It is deceptive, perhaps. They feel like  
they are learning, and maybe they keep taking classes always seeking  
the answer. But what is the question? CONFIDENCE, not stuff. These  
guys end up long-term intermediates randomly zig-zagging around the  
middle of the floor. I've tried to teach some of the musicality, and  
they just don't get it because their brain is so full of stuff, that  
they can't comprehend the essence.

Look at milongas or practicas in communities dominated by fancy tango  
(nuevo, fantasy, neo, non). You have lots of women, and not so many men.




Tom Stermitz
http://www.tango.org
Denver, CO