[Tango-L] Discouraging bad dancing

[Trini y Sean (PATangoS)]

Someone asked me to elaborate on the "gentle ways of
discouraging bad dancing" so here goes.  It could make an
interesting thread.  I should also add that I do employ the
not-so-gentle ways as necessary but I do not encourage
others to do so.

In our beginning classes we tell the following story. 
Years ago in a private with Daniel Lapadula, Daniel told
Sean that we looked relaxed dancing with other people but
with each other it looked as if we were fighting.  Sean
said that I kept correcting him and telling him what he
should be doing.  Daniel asked if I did any leading. Sean
said no (true at that time), and Daniel replied "Then what
are you listening to her for?  What does she know about
leading?"   He then added that if I said anything about how
something FEELS to me, then Sean should pay attention.  The
woman, he explained, is always the expert on how things
feel to her (and, of course, vice versa).  

That story gives students an example of how to deal with
conflict and hints at respecting their partner’s role. 
(Beginning women can be harsh on beginning men.)  Saying
how things feel to them (I didn’t feel a space, I felt too
much space, etc.) lets them discuss problems without
placing blame on anyone.  We always tell them to talk
problems out because one can never assume that what one
thought happened in his head (the virtual world) was what
actually happened (the real world).  We’re always saying
"how does it feel?" or "I get the sense that you’re doing
..." and our students have picked up that approach and
language.  

Our community is also lucky to have an excellent Alexander
Technique teacher who is generous with her knowledge of
body mechanics.  This gives people an objective way of
problem-solving based on science and helps them realize
that everyone has physical limitations to respect.  Those
starting tango later in life bring with them tension that
inhibits their natural movements compared to someone who
started at age 6.  Focusing on releasing tension (Alexander
Technique) helps them keep tango fun and keeps them in tune
to how their partner is feeling.

Basically, making tango technique as objective as possible
removes the subjective issues from the learning process. 
But it also helps people focus more on their own efforts
rather than what is wrong with their partner.

We also try not to use the term "bad dancer" but instead
"inexperienced dancer."  And one is either more experienced
or less experienced.  When we use "bad", then it’s really
bad and usually a reflection of egotism more than anything.

It also helps that we have a number of school and
university teachers in our community who are trained in
giving constructive feedback.  They bring these skills with
them to tango.  

When it comes to bigger issues that involve most of the
community, these are included in my regular emails to the
main tango list.  The tone is very much "here’s a problem
and let’s fix this together".  Providing links on relevant
topics (including some tango-l posts) puts folks on the
same page.  

It is really just a matter of educating people and the
choices become obvious.  

Hope it gives folks a few ideas to try.

Trini de Pittsburgh


PATangoS - Pittsburgh Argentine Tango Society 
Our Mission: To make Argentine Tango Pittsburgh's most popular social dance. 
http://patangos.home.comcast.net/ 



 
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