[Tango-L] same sex couple dancing in a milonga

[Marisa Holmes]

You betcha.  I'm leading other women - a lot.  I'm
following other women - some.  I'm leading men -
occasionally.  I'm following men - quite a bit.  No
big deal; no problem.

I think I know what Caroline means about some women
having a characteristic shared style.  I think of it
as sort of tensed and resolute - like someone
determined to do something that is at the edge of
their ability.  I have always attributed it to the
peculiar circumstances under which women learn to
lead: they are usually already quite experienced tango
dancers when they start leading, so they understand
the music; they can find the beat; they have a clue
about navigation; they have a refined concept of
vocabulary; they have a desire to express the music
and themselves.  But none of those make you able to
lead another person.  So in the beginning they are
trying to do something complex with advanced tools but
without basic tools.  This is very different from the
experience of men who start out leading and who
struggle from the beginning with all aspects of the
dance.

In addition, most women who lead are not much larger
or much stronger than their female partners.  Even
though when both partners are expert there is not a
lot of force involved with the lead, when either of
the partners is a less experienced dancer, more or
less force does come into the equation.  And the
bottom line is that most men are stronger than most
women, especially in the upper body, if you match them
by height, weight, or any other reasonable physical
quality.  I have found that the men who have told me
"you don't need strength to do this" are in fact so
much stronger than I am that they really don't think
they are exerting much force when they are
accomplishing work that would cost me considerable
effort.  You are just plain better off if your partner
is suddenly off her axis if you could catch her if she
fell.  So I think some of the "female leader" look is
about consciously applying a lot of energy and effort
to a task that many men could do with less effort (but
exerting the same amount of energy, of course).

The final thing I think influences the performance of
the female leader (in contrast to the male) is
training and time spent on the floor.  Experienced
women like the ones I described above move straight
from zero to leading material that most guys do not
lead for months or years.  The result, even when it
works, is often a tension and lack of ease that comes
from not having done the moves thousands of times. 
Navigation, too, is learned on the floor, and I see
many women who appear to be giving more frantic
attention to navigation than is common with guys who
are leading the same sorts of material. In my
experience, all these problems smooth out if the women
spend enough time actually dancing - not a surprise.

Marisa


--- tango at dal.gr wrote:

> Hello all,
> 
> What do you think about a couple of the same sex,
> dancing in a milonga?
> 
> I don't mean they have to be gays, but just for fun,
> or to communicate, or to
> express themselves or because sometimes they are not
> asked for dancing by
> others (especially in women-crowded milongas) or for
> any other reason.
> 
> Do you agree?
> Do you mind seeing it?
> Do you permit it (if you are a milonga organizer)?
> Are you doing it?
> 
> Nik


 
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