[Tango-L] Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Mon Dec 24 09:26:50 EST 2007

Krasimir,

  I could add the following to what you said:

  A step is in three parts.  

  1. The leader suggests the direction and feel of the step.
  2. The follower interprets what the leader has suggested and makes the step.
  3. The leader follows the follower through the step.

  Given this sequence, during parts 2 and 3, it is the follower who could be thought of as having the monologue.  :o)

  However, I prefer to think of the entire sequence as a myriad of small conversations going on.

Krasimir Stoyanov <krasimir at krasimir.com> wrote:
  No important is where I am from.
Look all the good performances on youtube. Do you see a single one, where 
the leader does not DETERMINE the step? I have yet to see any, good or even 
bad, performance where both are equal 50% leaders.

People, this is an art form. It is not politics, and please, stop fighting 
for equality, it is irrelevant here.

I personally like to follow very much. But when I follow, I FOLLOW. I don't 
want to speak, I listen. I am the listening part of the monologue, and there 
is much pleasure in it. But you with your prejudices may never feel it.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Trini y Sean (PATangoS)" 

To: "Krasimir Stoyanov" ; "Tango-L" 
Sent: Sunday, December 23, 2007 8:03 PM
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

> Krasimir,
>
> I'm not sure where you're from, but the reason you don't
> see the 50/50 dialogue might be because the women in your
> area aren't encouraged to reach that point.
>
> It's very difficult for a woman to reach that point of
> feeling and being an equal partner in the dance, both
> technically and psychologically.
>
> I have lost count of the number of women who have described
> an exchange with a man with me and have asked if he was
> being condenscending. The answer is usually yes.
>
> Understand this - they are actually asking me whether
> condenscending behavior is okay or not! They are looking
> for guidance in what they should already know is not good
> behavior. The amazing part is that unless I confirm what
> they already know, they will accept this behavior as
> normal! I know this because of certain dynamics that have
> occurred in my community.
>
> So if you'd like to see a more 50/50 dialogue, do what you
> can to encourage the women to become equal partners.
> You'll enjoy the results.
>
> Trini de Pittsburgh
>
>
> --- Krasimir Stoyanov wrote:
>
>> Sorry, I have not yet seen a tango, that is 50/50
>> dialogue.
>>
>> So, I would gladly be a violin (more likely contrabass
>> :-) instead of trying
>> to play the too clever violin.
>>
>> This dance is a monologue,like it ot not, adorned by some
>> additions from the
>> follower.
>>
>> Otherwise, instead of telling a story, (painting canvas,
>> playing violin), it
>> becomes a quarrel. I see it every night locally. And I am
>> tired of this
>> pseudo-tango.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Tango For Her" 
>> To: 
>> Sent: Sunday, December 23, 2007 4:23 PM
>> Subject: [Tango-L] Men are from Mars, Women are from
>> Venus
>>
>>
>> > MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS
>> >
>> > === Here's something that I got from the book:
>> >
>> > Men are from Mars: When discussing something, men want
>> to state the
>> > answer.
>> >
>> > Women are from Venus: Women discuss to discuss. The
>> answer isn't as
>> > important as the exchange of information. (It's been a
>> while since I've
>> > read the book. I know I could have stated this
>> better.)
>> >
>> > === Here is how I see it playing out in life:
>> >
>> > The man has the answer (so he thinks) and forces it on
>> the woman.
>> >
>> > Because the man *has the answer*, he is forcing the
>> conversation toward a
>> > monologue.
>> >
>> > The woman is barraged with this everyday.
>> >
>> > === Let's apply it to tango:
>> >
>> > Plenty of men *know* they are doing the step
>> correctly, therefore they
>> > believe that the woman should accept it and just
>> follow, damn it!
>> >
>> > Plenty of men *know they are right* and are awfully
>> busy telling the
>> > women that they are wrong.
>> >
>> > These men turn the dance into a monologue.
>> >
>> > Women would sure love a beautiful conversation.
>> >
>> > === Here is how I see it applying to these posts:
>> >
>> > The women have stated, very clearly, that they don't
>> appreciate being
>> > thought of in certain ways.
>> >
>> > The men *are right* and must make the women see this.
>> >
>> > === Putting it all together
>> >
>> > Men, if you will stop having to be right, this thread
>> will cease to the
>> > delight of many!
>> >
>> > Try this on: You don't have to understand Venus. It's
>> okay. Take a vow
>> > of silence on this topic for a week. At the end of
>> that week, be okay
>> > with that silence!
>> >
>> > Thank you, in advance, for not responding to this
>> post.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > ---------------------------------
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>
>
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> Our Mission: To make Argentine Tango Pittsburgh's most popular social 
> dance!
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>
>
>
>
> 
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