[Tango-L] Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

[Krasimir Stoyanov]

No important is where I am from.
Look all the good performances on youtube. Do you see a single one, where 
the leader does not DETERMINE the step? I have yet to see any, good or even 
bad, performance where both are equal 50% leaders.

People, this is an art form. It is not politics, and please, stop fighting 
for equality, it is irrelevant here.

I personally like to follow very much. But when I follow, I FOLLOW. I don't 
want to speak, I listen. I am the listening part of the monologue, and there 
is much pleasure in it. But you with your prejudices may never feel it.



----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Trini y Sean (PATangoS)" <patangos at yahoo.com>
To: "Krasimir Stoyanov" <krasimir at krasimir.com>; "Tango-L" <Tango-L at mit.edu>
Sent: Sunday, December 23, 2007 8:03 PM
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus


> Krasimir,
>
> I'm not sure where you're from, but the reason you don't
> see the 50/50 dialogue might be because the women in your
> area aren't encouraged to reach that point.
>
> It's very difficult for a woman to reach that point of
> feeling and being an equal partner in the dance, both
> technically and psychologically.
>
> I have lost count of the number of women who have described
> an exchange with a man with me and have asked if he was
> being condenscending.  The answer is usually yes.
>
> Understand this - they are actually asking me whether
> condenscending behavior is okay or not!  They are looking
> for guidance in what they should already know is not good
> behavior.  The amazing part is that unless I confirm what
> they already know, they will accept this behavior as
> normal!  I know this because of certain dynamics that have
> occurred in my community.
>
> So if you'd like to see a more 50/50 dialogue, do what you
> can to encourage the women to become equal partners.
> You'll enjoy the results.
>
> Trini de Pittsburgh
>
>
> --- Krasimir Stoyanov <krasimir at krasimir.com> wrote:
>
>> Sorry, I have not yet seen a tango, that is 50/50
>> dialogue.
>>
>> So, I would gladly be a violin (more likely contrabass
>> :-) instead of trying
>> to play the too clever violin.
>>
>> This dance is a monologue,like it ot not, adorned by some
>> additions from the
>> follower.
>>
>> Otherwise, instead of telling a story, (painting canvas,
>> playing violin), it
>> becomes a quarrel. I see it every night locally. And I am
>> tired of this
>> pseudo-tango.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Tango For Her" <tangopeer at yahoo.com>
>> To: <tango-L at mit.edu>
>> Sent: Sunday, December 23, 2007 4:23 PM
>> Subject: [Tango-L] Men are from Mars, Women are from
>> Venus
>>
>>
>> > MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS
>> >
>> >  === Here's something that I got from the book:
>> >
>> >  Men are from Mars: When discussing something, men want
>> to state the
>> > answer.
>> >
>> >  Women are from Venus: Women discuss to discuss. The
>> answer isn't as
>> > important as the exchange of information.  (It's been a
>> while since I've
>> > read the book.  I know I could have stated this
>> better.)
>> >
>> >  === Here is how I see it playing out in life:
>> >
>> >  The man has the answer (so he thinks) and forces it on
>> the woman.
>> >
>> >  Because the man *has the answer*, he is forcing the
>> conversation toward a
>> > monologue.
>> >
>> >  The woman is barraged with this everyday.
>> >
>> >  === Let's apply it to tango:
>> >
>> >  Plenty of men *know* they are doing the step
>> correctly, therefore they
>> > believe that the woman should accept it and just
>> follow, damn it!
>> >
>> >  Plenty of men *know they are right* and are awfully
>> busy telling the
>> > women that they are wrong.
>> >
>> >  These men turn the dance into a monologue.
>> >
>> >  Women would sure love a beautiful conversation.
>> >
>> > === Here is how I see it applying to these posts:
>> >
>> >  The women have stated, very clearly, that they don't
>> appreciate being
>> > thought of in certain ways.
>> >
>> >  The men *are right* and must make the women see this.
>> >
>> >  === Putting it all together
>> >
>> >  Men, if you will stop having to be right, this thread
>> will cease to the
>> > delight of many!
>> >
>> >  Try this on:  You don't have to understand Venus. It's
>> okay.  Take a vow
>> > of silence on this topic for a week.  At the end of
>> that week, be okay
>> > with that silence!
>> >
>> >  Thank you, in advance, for not responding to this
>> post.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > ---------------------------------
>> > Never miss a thing.   Make Yahoo your homepage.
>> > _______________________________________________
>> > Tango-L mailing list
>> > Tango-L at mit.edu
>> > http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Tango-L mailing list
>> Tango-L at mit.edu
>> http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l
>>
>
>
> PATangoS - Pittsburgh Argentine Tango Society
>  Our Mission: To make Argentine Tango Pittsburgh's most popular social 
> dance!
>  http://patangos.home.comcast.net/
>
>
>
>
> 
> ____________________________________________________________________________________
> Never miss a thing.  Make Yahoo your home page.
> http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs