[Tango-L] Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

[Trini y Sean (PATangoS)]

Krasimir,

I'm not sure where you're from, but the reason you don't
see the 50/50 dialogue might be because the women in your
area aren't encouraged to reach that point.

It's very difficult for a woman to reach that point of
feeling and being an equal partner in the dance, both
technically and psychologically.  

I have lost count of the number of women who have described
an exchange with a man with me and have asked if he was
being condenscending.  The answer is usually yes.  

Understand this - they are actually asking me whether
condenscending behavior is okay or not!  They are looking
for guidance in what they should already know is not good
behavior.  The amazing part is that unless I confirm what
they already know, they will accept this behavior as
normal!  I know this because of certain dynamics that have
occurred in my community.

So if you'd like to see a more 50/50 dialogue, do what you
can to encourage the women to become equal partners. 
You'll enjoy the results.

Trini de Pittsburgh


--- Krasimir Stoyanov <krasimir at krasimir.com> wrote:

> Sorry, I have not yet seen a tango, that is 50/50
> dialogue.
> 
> So, I would gladly be a violin (more likely contrabass
> :-) instead of trying 
> to play the too clever violin.
> 
> This dance is a monologue,like it ot not, adorned by some
> additions from the 
> follower.
> 
> Otherwise, instead of telling a story, (painting canvas,
> playing violin), it 
> becomes a quarrel. I see it every night locally. And I am
> tired of this 
> pseudo-tango.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Tango For Her" <tangopeer at yahoo.com>
> To: <tango-L at mit.edu>
> Sent: Sunday, December 23, 2007 4:23 PM
> Subject: [Tango-L] Men are from Mars, Women are from
> Venus
> 
> 
> > MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS
> >
> >  === Here's something that I got from the book:
> >
> >  Men are from Mars: When discussing something, men want
> to state the 
> > answer.
> >
> >  Women are from Venus: Women discuss to discuss. The
> answer isn't as 
> > important as the exchange of information.  (It's been a
> while since I've 
> > read the book.  I know I could have stated this
> better.)
> >
> >  === Here is how I see it playing out in life:
> >
> >  The man has the answer (so he thinks) and forces it on
> the woman.
> >
> >  Because the man *has the answer*, he is forcing the
> conversation toward a 
> > monologue.
> >
> >  The woman is barraged with this everyday.
> >
> >  === Let's apply it to tango:
> >
> >  Plenty of men *know* they are doing the step
> correctly, therefore they 
> > believe that the woman should accept it and just
> follow, damn it!
> >
> >  Plenty of men *know they are right* and are awfully
> busy telling the 
> > women that they are wrong.
> >
> >  These men turn the dance into a monologue.
> >
> >  Women would sure love a beautiful conversation.
> >
> > === Here is how I see it applying to these posts:
> >
> >  The women have stated, very clearly, that they don't
> appreciate being 
> > thought of in certain ways.
> >
> >  The men *are right* and must make the women see this.
> >
> >  === Putting it all together
> >
> >  Men, if you will stop having to be right, this thread
> will cease to the 
> > delight of many!
> >
> >  Try this on:  You don't have to understand Venus. It's
> okay.  Take a vow 
> > of silence on this topic for a week.  At the end of
> that week, be okay 
> > with that silence!
> >
> >  Thank you, in advance, for not responding to this
> post.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
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> 
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