[Tango-L] tell me why someone can not stand comparison of a dancer to a musical instrument

[Michael]

Igor:
I'm not going to justify a woman's feelings but something similar happened to me. I was a dance host on a cruise ship. There was no Argentine Tango  but there was American tango. The only person who I regularly danced American tango with was a 88 year old (not typo) woman on vacation with her 98 (no typo) husband. We were the only ones on the floor dancing tango.

After we danced, Flora got all the compliments and I got none. Finally, one night, I said out loud "And I guess I did NOTHING!!" It felt like I got NO recognition for my skill by making Flora look good on the floor.

Dancing tango is supposed to be a partnership where BOTH partners get credit for their skill and creativity. Anything that eliminates credit for one of the partners with the other claiming he did all the "all the work" would upset the other person.

When I compliment a woman, I specifically mention her skill or creativity. If she moves well, I'll tell her she glides like a skater across the ice because minimal effort is needed to lead. If she does excellent adornments, I'll tell her I regret I can't see them while dancing. I tell her what she did well without comparison to an object.

For men who don't understand, I'll try this comparison, which I'm sure will get me into trouble. How would YOU feel if a woman said after making love, "It was like having sex with a vibrator?" If that doesn't work, I'm sure the women can come up with better examples.

Michael Ditkoff
Washington, DC
One week to New Year's Eve in New York at www.celebratetango.com

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Igor Polk" <ipolk at virtuar.com>
To: <Tango-L at mit.edu>
Sent: Saturday, December 22, 2007 11:37 PM
Subject: [Tango-L] tell me why someone can not stand comparison of a dancer to a musical instrument


Please, tell me why someone can not stand comparison of a dancer to a musical instrument.

Igor Polk