[Tango-L] tell me why someone can not stand comparison of a dancer to a musical instrument

[desdelasnubes@web.de]

Dear Nancy, Astrid, buffmilonguera, Trini,

thank you all for your helpful postings that seem to already have 
produced effect by raising the level of sensitivity on this list.
It might have a wonderful effect on the dancing, too. 

Maybe we can keep in our generous minds that
males often have this need for very explicit statements,
whereas subtle allusions do not easily get through.
Simplicity should be our key goal and unnecessary complexity 
avoided. A very straightforward approach might seem less
glamourous, but indeed that trivial approach should be taken.

We realize men like to use well-known, often cited,
worn-out metaphors like the one with the violine. 
This might be linked with their drive to play 
(with toys, brushes, violins, whatever), "homo ludens".

We often know better, but we do not always let them know,
we rather apply the KISS-principle 
"Keep It Simple, Stupid"
and we can be generous and still reward them with our admiring
looks ;)

Anna




> -----Ursprüngliche Nachricht-----
> Von: <buffmilonguera at aol.com>
> Gesendet: 23.12.07 06:17:47
> An: tango-L at mit.edu
> Betreff: Re: [Tango-L] tell me why someone can not stand comparison of a dancer to a musical instrument


> 
> nd the women keep telling the men not to refer to
> them in that way and  they keep justifying their way
> of thinking.
>  And would the men please
> stop telling us how we are supposed to feel about
> it!!!!!
> 
> I think Nancy said it pretty well - several women have shared their 
> feelings, and I guarantee that we could produce many others who would 
> agree - it matters less that you think it should not bother us, and 
> more that you respect the fact that we've told you that it does (and 
> btw, I am using "you" in the global sense, not you personally.  I am 
> willing to believe that you do mean it to be received as a positive 
> comparison - but, as one on the receiving end, I can assure you that it 
> isn't.....for a whole host of reasons that may or may not have anything 
> to do with you or you alone, and have much to do with experiences such 
> as the women on this thread have already described.
> 
> If you say something to me that I tell you leaves me feeling hurt or 
> offended - isn't the more respectful, or at least polite thing to do is 
> not repeat it - rather than tell me I shouldn't be bothered? Maybe 
> something along the lines of, "I really
> meant it to be a compliment, but I am sorry that it didn't sound like 
> that to you.  I think you dance beautifully...etc."  I don't think this 
> kind of sensitivity to someone's feelings is a cultural thing......
> 
> Have you joined the Buffalo Argentine Tango Society Yahoo! group yet? 
> It's easy, and the best way to make sure you know what we're doing and 
> what's going on with the Argentine tango in and around Buffalo......go 
> to www.yahoo.com > select Groups > search for Buffalo Argentine Tango 
> Society > follow the directions to join BATS_tango.  Thanks!
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Igor Polk <ipolk at virtuar.com>
> To: Tango-L at mit.edu
> Sent: Sat, 22 Dec 2007 11:37 pm
> Subject: [Tango-L] tell me why someone can not stand comparison of a 
> dancer to a musical instrument
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Please, tell me why someone can not stand comparison of a dancer to a
> musical instrument.
> 
> I think, technically and educationally it is a perfect association.
> 
> It should be something cultural, which I miss. What is going on?
> Please, help me to understand.
> 
> Privately if you want.
> 
> Please, it is important for me.
> 
> Igor Polk
> 
> 
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