[Tango-L] He played her like a violin

[Megan Pingree]

hi Jay

I have to say that this issue of describing the follower as an  
inanimate object is often front and center for me.  As a teacher, I  
am often reaching for metaphors that help students understand the  
roles.  Musical instruments:players, and cars:drivers, and (the  
worst) even wheelbarrows: pushers! are metaphors I sometimes resort  
to -- always with some trepidation.  Of those, I like the instrument:  
player one the best -- for the very reasons you so beautifully  
expressed.

In a similar vein, altho not as objectifying -- I remember in BAires  
dancing with an old milonguero to D'agostino/Vargas, and feeling as  
tho I had been  invited to participate in the telling of his life's  
story.  It was his story, not mine, and I felt honored to help him  
tell it.  Not a time for me to be playful or assertive in my dancing;  
instead, a time for me to do "active listening" (are you familiar  
with that lay psychology term?) -- to amplify, clarify, manifest,  
give him the feedback in my dancing that I understood and appreciated  
what he meant to express.
Of course the music was a key piece of this story-telling.  He knew  
every note and word, (and thankfully, it was well-known to me, tho I  
didn't understand a  lot of the lyrics.) It was the bridge between  
us, or maybe the matrix within which we together told his life --  
with me very much in a supporting role.

Most of the time, I am not dancing with old milongueros!  So most of  
the time, I feel as tho my story, or at least my mood and my  
understanding of the music are as much to be expressed as my  
leader's.  In that case, being played like a violin is fine/ 
wonderful, as long as this player is skilled, and happy with my being  
a violin with her own personality, quirks, strengths -- as any Strad is.

  I wonder if sometimes a fine musician with a fine instrument feels  
as the the instrument tells him how she wants to be played, and he  
does her bidding.  (I am trying here to allow for the instrument to  
be very active and expressive -- definitely a bit of a stretch for  
the literal-minded, as instruments don't willfully , consciously,  
take over --tho they may seem to by, for example,  busting a string  
occasionally.)

This is way more than I intended to write! I don't have time for  
this!  Ok, I am procrastinating on dealing with insurance issues.   
Thanks for the diversion.
:-)  Megan


On Dec 21, 2007, at 9:50 AM, Jay Rabe wrote:

> Men are from Mars. They speak a different language.
>
> When a man says, "He played her like a violin...," what he means  
> is, "He expresses his musicality by leading her steps to accompany  
> the music so harmoniously that her feet could be a part of the  
> orchestra. He pauses to give her space to embellish at exactly  
> those points in the musical score where such embellishments fit  
> perfectly with the music, as if she were part of the orchestra."
>
> I dare say, it's highly likely that the woman who was dancing with  
> the man so described would have reported a sublime experience of  
> exquisite musicality.
>