[Tango-L] Don't blame your follower

[Tango For Her]

In response to Doug's response ... I must elaborate on the freedom that I get from being open minded about the dance ...
   
  I know it's a generalization, but, I find that, "in general" women have more of an inherent musicality in their bodies than men.  If anyone disagrees.  Fine.  But, I, for one, am very glad that I recognize that.  Women can dance!!!  Create a dance, or a canvas, suggest your leads, and notice that it is she who fills your soul with dance.  You know how a step is three parts?  You suggest the direction and feel of the step, she steps and you follow?  Good.  Now, imagine the floor as your canvas as you become the artist who is suggesting the first part of the step.  NOW, as she steps AND YOU FOLLOW, notice that it is her musicality that make you glad to be following her through that step.  
   
  Now, I know that someone out there is going to tear that paragraph up and throw it back at me.  But, my point is to stick with it and see if you can admit that women have this incredible musicality in their souls.  Women can dance, usually better than men, and I am very glad that I can focus on that.  I think I bring alot to the table.  But, I am glad that she brings more!  Besides, have you ever tried dancing with a man?  Even a man who has trained as a follower?  I’ll take the musicality that is in a woman’s body anyday!
   
  And, if you take the large segment of the tango leaders who have not moved past patterns to the freedom where there is only the front step, back step, side step and the pivot, you have to agree that they could learn from thinking of the woman as an instrument, even a paint brush.  
   
  Think of all the leaders that are still stuck in the patterns and haven’t had the free brain cycles, yet, to see that the dance is actually between the steps.  Next time you are dancing, and you are in those in betweens, notice that the woman has been there, all along, waiting for you to ... hear the music!
   
  Years ago, I was beginning to perform, so, I went for lessons with ... well, one of those genious teachers.  I remember her instructing me to dance small moves, then big moves, then small, etc.  Show some variety.  You know?  I also remember her telling me to think of the floor as my canvas and think of some artistic shapes to draw with my partner's feet.  As usual, she was pure geneous.  And, for those of you who just want to write back and forth about this, actually get out there and think of your partner as the brush.  Here’s something amazing.  It puts your mind into a diffferent context.  For me, if I think of a brush handle, long and straight.  Then, I see that it takes a bit of energy to actually move that brush a long way across the floor in one step.  I am glad that I can think in those terms.  
   
  Sometimes, when I feel that my dancing has gotten small for too long, I remember her and think of my partner as a brush and the floor as my canvas.  My partner loves my dancing.  She wishes others had the imagination that I do.  I realize that others might like my dancing, too, but be offended by choices of words.  Thank God, when some of those nice feeling moves come out, I don't talk during the dance!
   
  Hey, leaders out there, try taking this on ...
   
  1.       If you are so sure your partner would walk away from you if you meantioned thinking of the floor as a canvas and her as a brush, how about taking on a little homework and ask her!  We would love to hear alot of opinions on this.
  2.       If you are so sure your partner would walk away from you if you thought of her as any kind of instrument, then, ponder this (and then try it and reap the benefits) ...
   
  Listen to the violin when you dance.  Make the dance about the violin.  Hell, think of your partner as the violin.  Report back, now, ya hear?
   
  Listen to the bandoneon. Same exercise applies.
   
  Listen to the singer.  Maybe, even, imagine that your partner is singing to you.
   
  Imagine that your partner is a rock, a feather, quick like a humming bird, a snare drum.  I don’t know.  You make up the list.  
   
  Heck, even try imagining that your partner is your sister!  I don’t know. YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY LEARN SOMETHING!  Matter of fact, I’ll have to try that.  Women always want more out of the dance.  It can take a little creativity.  
   
  Myself, I have had classes like this.  I am soooo glad that I have had classes like this!!!  And, today, my partners are glad that I think of these things and, sometimes, think of her in these terms.
   


doug at swingfusion.com wrote:  "the floor is my canvas and the woman is my brush. If I have
built up her 
confidence to the point that she feels secure and becomes elastic, I 
wouldn't expect her to be trying to correct for my overwinding of her body. 
It takes away from the ultimate art. And, we have to remember. The women 
are the ones that can dance! We're just along for the ride, suggesting what

we would like to see!" 

Then "why does reading this make me feel uncomfortable?
Starting with the first 
sentence, I was beginning to cringe. And arriving at the last two sentences,

no, sorry, Tango-for-her, the flounces that you see swishing by the door is 
me outta here..." 

Thank you Astrid. Is good, and rewarding, to hear what women want from
dance. I work very hard on my lead to create full conversation with my
follow. My regular partner would walk after the word "canvas", never mind
the rest. The minute she might even imagine I think she is brush, or
instrument, or anything but full partner in the dance is the day I look for
new partner. And the day I say that I can't dance but am only there to
dance her is the day she tells me to go take dance lessons and learn how to
dance too. Oh. That has already happened. :-)


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