[Tango-L] Eyes shut open

[Jake Spatz (TangoDC.com)]

Hello list,

As an addendum to the recent leader-bashing, I'd like to remind everyone 
that ladies also learn, over time, to adapt their movements to the 
social floor and to the leader's sometimes rapid decisions. Navigation 
is cultivated, yes. But an insensitive, or overly peppy, or too 
assertive follower (etc.) can add to the floorcraft problems that a 
conscientious leader must manage.

Drunks and rib-crackers and morons are certainly hazards for everyone. 
But so are the followers who can't read a low & slow boleo, and do 
everything high & mighty; or who interpret the lead too liberally even 
after a mistake; or who slow down "interactively" when their partner's 
trying to get them out of someone else's trouble.

These adaptations are really just a matter of common sense, which takes 
a while to reappear when you're still getting the dance into your bones, 
and still drops off the radar from time to time anyway. (Passion being 
rather the opposite, at times, of sound sense.) And it's a process, 
which is fine. But to think that the whole burden of good floorcraft 
rests with the leader, and that the follower is just along for the ride, 
is a little negligent.

If you're sure you're in the right as a follower, of course, it's always 
a good idea to tell your partner what you need after the first song-- 
e.g., "Can you watch out for traffic a little more?" "Can you 
loosen/tighten your embrace a little?" "Can you stop every so often to 
breathe/mark phrases/etc.?" "Are you sober enough to dance tonight?" If 
a woman walked off after two songs with me, without even trying to 
suggest an improvement after the first, I'd think she was either 
arrogant, or a coward, or a pampered idiot. Any man giving it an honest 
75% of his best (to be realistic) has a right to conclude as much.

And of course, since you might not Be in the right, even if you think 
you are, it's best to make these types of suggestion in a helpful tone. 
You could very well be the source of trouble without quite understanding 
how or why. This, I believe, is the main wellspring of arguments b/w 
dancing couples, who often know each other too well to remember how 
constructive criticism is best offered, or questions best proposed.

In any case, there is no such thing as "your" dancing or "my" dancing. 
There's only "our" dancing, and it's probably better to remember you're 
a de facto collaborator to whatever happens on the floor. Everyone 
complains a bit; but the good, growing dancers make less and less time 
for that, and decide to make it work for their partner instead.

Or so I imagine.

Jake Spatz
DC