[Tango-L] customs

[WHITE 95 R]

Hi Nina,

I agree with you on all points. And yes, there are no absolutes (at least in 
tango). My contention was about the absolute necessity to use only the 
cabeceo to ask for dances in the local milongas in the USA. All the 
advantages you mention are true and undoubtedly the cabeceo will work fine 
if properly applied. The problems that I see with it is that it's difficult 
sometimes to make eye contact with those you want to ask. Maybe they are too 
far away or perhaps they are not in your line of sight or unavailable for 
the cabeceo for some other reason.

Also, if you are waiting for the chance to do the cabeceo in one of the 
festival milongas, there is a good chance that you'll never get to dance 
with some specific person because other guys walk up to her and ask her 
before you get a chance to make eye contact... Can it be possible to set up 
the milongas with rigorously enforced rules? In my experience I've found 
that people in the areas that I'm familiar with do not take kindly to any 
rules, regulations or traditions that they do not create for themselves. 
It's hard enough to get them to accept the traditional tango music and 
traditional social style of dancing in the milongas...... It might be really 
cool to use the cabeceo as they do in BAries if it were only possible....

Manuel



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>From: Nina Pesochinsky <nina at earthnet.net>
>To: tango-l at mit.edu
>Subject: Re: [Tango-L] customs
>Date: Wed, 04 Apr 2007 05:52:19 -0600
>
>Hi, Manuel,
>
>You are right and this is all true.  There are no absolutes.  There
>are no guarantees about anything.
>
>I can understand people having a difficulty adopting a custom
>practiced in another culture, but to argue *against* a custom makes
>no sense when there is a purpose and meaning for it.
>
>One other practical argument for cabeceo is this - a person can
>invite another from across the room and have a partner of their
>choice while someone else is moseying towards these people to ask
>them verbally.  Cabeceo is quick, efficient and discrete.
>
>American and other non-Argentine cultures do not properly prepare a
>person for dancing Argentine tango.  When a person, even a young
>person, who is Argentine arrives to learn to dance and begins going
>to the milongas in BsAs, they usually do not struggle with customs
>such as cabeceo.  They also seem much more comfortable in the
>environment of the milongas.  I am sure that has a lot to do with
>language.  But I also think that it has a lot to do with the subtle
>cultural flavor where such a person has been living most of his/her life.
>
>Again, there are no absolutes and there are as many experiences as
>there are people, but some trends do emerge upon observation.
>
>Warm regards,
>
>Nina
>
>
>
>
>At 11:00 PM 4/3/2007, WHITE 95 R wrote:
>
> >>From: Nina Pesochinsky <nina at earthnet.net>
> >
> >>Cabeceo is one of those
> >>rules.  It is graceful and discrete.  When I person is turned down
> >>with a cabeceo, it can be done in such a way that will not prevent a
> >>future invitation between these partners.  A verbal refusal is pretty
> >>much a guarantee that a person will not ask again.
> >
> >Hmmmm... I'm not so sure about that. I think that a diplomatic,
> >polite refusal is no more difficult to take than a pointed effort t
> >avoid "seeing" the person one does not wish to dance with.
> >
> >>Investing in learning and practicing the rules can greatly enhance
> >>one's experience of the dance.
> >
> >This might be true, but it does not guarantee that one will get more
> >dances or less rejections ;-)
> >
> >>Tango is a great place to find and practice what may be missing, such
> >>as proper boundaries, etc., - different things for different people.
> >
> >True that. It's just like any number of other activities which
> >involve social interaction within a specific millieu. Other types of
> >dance scenes are very similar in that they have their own set of
> >customs, rules or what have you.
> >
> >I think that the tango scene(s) and all the customs new and old that
> >define it are extremely complicated to navigate. It's easy to make
> >mistakes, incorrect assumptions, etc. Just practicing something like
> >the cabeceo exclusively as a way to ask for dances is not an
> >assurance that all will be fine. Likewise, just asking someone
> >vervally to dance does not mean you are branded as a boor in the USA
> >or Europe or other countries.
> >
> >Regards,
> >
> >Manuel
> >
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>
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