[Tango-L] Can somebody shed some light on the subject

[WHITE 95 R]

For better or for worse, not all customs from the milongas in BAires have 
been adopted or can be adopted in the good old USA. The cabeceo might well 
be one of the customs that does not get fully adopted. Basically, in the USA 
the tango scene was initially imported into many cities via second and even 
third hand experience. By the time people finally figured out how to even 
dance the tango and what music to dance it to, the social customs and local 
codes had already been created in an organic way and were well established.

One of the characteristics of the various tango scenes in the US is that 
they started small and the people became very familiar with each other. It 
is still that way in many places and it's very easy when you know people and 
are comfortable with them to just approach them in a natural way and ask 
them to dance. Of course, this does not preclude the practice of the 
cabeceo. In actuality, it's probably easier to use the cabeceo with people 
you already know anyway and they are likely to be receptive.

Personally, I don't think a class on cabeceo is going to do much good. Even 
if one could get everyone in the class to put the teaching into effect, it's 
not going to work with everybody who did not go tothe class and shows up at 
the milonga with their own ingrained habits and sets of social skills. I'm 
also a little skeptical about learning "How to establish presence on and off 
the dance floor." Who knows, maybe it will work. But I think it will be more 
like teaching me how be 25 years old and 6'-2" ;-).... I can go to all the 
classes I can and apply myself fully to the learning but I'm dubious of my 
chance of success LOL.

Lets not forget another important part of the issue. The bottom line is 
whether the people want to dance with you or not. No amount of cabeceo 
knowledge and lore is going to work on someone who deliberately avoids 
making eye contact with you. Of course Michael I'm not taking about you in 
particular. Just using the pronoun in the customary way. OTOH, you bring up 
a good point vis-a-vis the level of illumination in the room.  I heard from 
several women that the lights were too bright at some point. I really did 
not mind too much but it seems that some people have a stronger preference 
for less light in the dance room at least during the milonga. adequate 
lighting would seem to be good because I think it's very important to see 
clearly what people are doing and if they are even paying any attention to 
you before trying the cabeceo. Actually, it's important to see if they 
appear to be busy talking with friends or otherwise engaged before taking a 
chance of a verbal invitation. As Nina wrote in her posts, the milongas can 
have different flavors and different purposes for different people. 
Unfortunately, here in the USA and specially in a tango festival, the 
socializing aspect and the "we are here to dance" ideas are both present and 
it's awkward to navigate between the two.

Cheers,

Manuel




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>From: "Michael" <tangomaniac at cavtel.net>
>To: "Tango L" <Tango-L at Mit.Edu>
>CC: Michael <tangomaniac at cavtel.net>
>Subject: [Tango-L] Can somebody shed some light on the subject
>Date: Mon, 2 Apr 2007 22:17:52 -0400
>
>I came back from the Atlanta Tango Festival today. I enjoyed it. However, I 
>have some questions about cabeceo.
>
>I asked a few people about illumination at milongas in BA. I was told that 
>the lights are completely on. At the milongas I've attended (Washington, DC 
>,New York, and I'm pretty sure, Miami) the amount of illumination has 
>ranged from twilight to power outage. I don't see how you can use cabeceo 
>with minimal light. A friend of mine at the festival said "Just forget it. 
>Just go and ask." Next milonga, I'm bringing a flare gun and a flashlight.
>
>Now, that brings up another issue. At Atlanta, I couldn't figure out which 
>women wanted to dance when they sit together and talk to each other. I got 
>the impression they didn't want to dance. I probably broke a rule and told 
>a woman at a class I wanted to dance with her at the milonga but couldn't 
>figure out if SHE wanted to dance because she was sitting with other women. 
>She said she told her students not to sit together if they wanted to be 
>asked. That evening she was sitting with her students but I went right up 
>to her with my Count Dracula mesmerizing, hypnotic look. It worked. We 
>danced.
>
>I spoke with the festival promoters about cabeceo. One of them told me that 
>an out-of-town instructor has suggested for years that they teach a class 
>on cabeceo at the festival. I told them I was clueless in figuring out 
>which women want to dance when they sit motionless at a table and don't 
>sweep the room like a radar antenna looking for a partner. I was told that 
>there will be a class at next year's festival. My name for it is "Do you 
>want to dance?" Their name is "How to establish presence on and off the 
>dance floor." I suggest other festivals consider adding a similar class to 
>their schedule. I'm going to push it with the NY Tango Festival committee. 
>Cabeceo works wonderfully on the Staten Island Ferry milonga. One year, I 
>thought the Captain was going to accept a woman's invitation, but he 
>doesn't dance.
>
>
>Michael Ditkoff
>Washington, DC
>Figuratively and literally IN THE DARK
>I'd rather be dancing Argentine Tango
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