[Tango-L] customs

[Nina Pesochinsky]

Hi, Manuel,

You are right and this is all true.  There are no absolutes.  There 
are no guarantees about anything.

I can understand people having a difficulty adopting a custom 
practiced in another culture, but to argue *against* a custom makes 
no sense when there is a purpose and meaning for it.

One other practical argument for cabeceo is this - a person can 
invite another from across the room and have a partner of their 
choice while someone else is moseying towards these people to ask 
them verbally.  Cabeceo is quick, efficient and discrete.

American and other non-Argentine cultures do not properly prepare a 
person for dancing Argentine tango.  When a person, even a young 
person, who is Argentine arrives to learn to dance and begins going 
to the milongas in BsAs, they usually do not struggle with customs 
such as cabeceo.  They also seem much more comfortable in the 
environment of the milongas.  I am sure that has a lot to do with 
language.  But I also think that it has a lot to do with the subtle 
cultural flavor where such a person has been living most of his/her life.

Again, there are no absolutes and there are as many experiences as 
there are people, but some trends do emerge upon observation.

Warm regards,

Nina




At 11:00 PM 4/3/2007, WHITE 95 R wrote:

>>From: Nina Pesochinsky <nina at earthnet.net>
>
>>Cabeceo is one of those
>>rules.  It is graceful and discrete.  When I person is turned down
>>with a cabeceo, it can be done in such a way that will not prevent a
>>future invitation between these partners.  A verbal refusal is pretty
>>much a guarantee that a person will not ask again.
>
>Hmmmm... I'm not so sure about that. I think that a diplomatic, 
>polite refusal is no more difficult to take than a pointed effort t 
>avoid "seeing" the person one does not wish to dance with.
>
>>Investing in learning and practicing the rules can greatly enhance
>>one's experience of the dance.
>
>This might be true, but it does not guarantee that one will get more 
>dances or less rejections ;-)
>
>>Tango is a great place to find and practice what may be missing, such
>>as proper boundaries, etc., - different things for different people.
>
>True that. It's just like any number of other activities which 
>involve social interaction within a specific millieu. Other types of 
>dance scenes are very similar in that they have their own set of 
>customs, rules or what have you.
>
>I think that the tango scene(s) and all the customs new and old that 
>define it are extremely complicated to navigate. It's easy to make 
>mistakes, incorrect assumptions, etc. Just practicing something like 
>the cabeceo exclusively as a way to ask for dances is not an 
>assurance that all will be fine. Likewise, just asking someone 
>vervally to dance does not mean you are branded as a boor in the USA 
>or Europe or other countries.
>
>Regards,
>
>Manuel
>
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