[Tango-L] Can somebody shed some light on the subject

[WHITE 95 R]

>From: Nina Pesochinsky <nina at earthnet.net>

>Cabeceo is one of those
>rules.  It is graceful and discrete.  When I person is turned down
>with a cabeceo, it can be done in such a way that will not prevent a
>future invitation between these partners.  A verbal refusal is pretty
>much a guarantee that a person will not ask again.

Hmmmm... I'm not so sure about that. I think that a diplomatic, polite 
refusal is no more difficult to take than a pointed effort t avoid "seeing" 
the person one does not wish to dance with.

>Investing in learning and practicing the rules can greatly enhance
>one's experience of the dance.

This might be true, but it does not guarantee that one will get more dances 
or less rejections ;-)

>Tango is a great place to find and practice what may be missing, such
>as proper boundaries, etc., - different things for different people.

True that. It's just like any number of other activities which involve 
social interaction within a specific millieu. Other types of dance scenes 
are very similar in that they have their own set of customs, rules or what 
have you.

I think that the tango scene(s) and all the customs new and old that define 
it are extremely complicated to navigate. It's easy to make mistakes, 
incorrect assumptions, etc. Just practicing something like the cabeceo 
exclusively as a way to ask for dances is not an assurance that all will be 
fine. Likewise, just asking someone vervally to dance does not mean you are 
branded as a boor in the USA or Europe or other countries.

Regards,

Manuel

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