[Tango-L] To dance or not to dance

[Marisa Holmes]

Should you dance every dance?  We see from Igor and
Caroline's postings that this is not the same question
for a leader and a follower.  We see from other
postings that it also varies by community, level of
expertise, and the goal the person has for being at
the milonga.  And so, as usual, we see that the poster
who says either yes or no – and extends that answer to
other people - is probably either not thinking through
the question or is trying to change a community by
laying down the law and hoping others will buy into
their vision.

Most people in my current community dance quite a bit.
 And I must say that the people who accept or invite
for almost every dance seem to become better dancers
sooner.  There's no doubt that time on the floor
contributes to increasing expertise, even if any
particular dance is not good.  And you can readily
avoid individual partners if they do not fit into your
plans.  But, as others have said, the milonga is also
a social event.  And the people who spend more time
talking seem to become better friends with other
people sooner.  This is a straightforward tradeoff. 
You can't do both fulltime, but you can find a balance
that suits you.  And in a community where many people
dance a lot and are used to a large number of
partners, you are in a good position to show visitors
a good time and to integrate new people smoothly.  

I used to be part of a small community that had
developed a group habit of dancing few dances in an
evening.  I believe it arose from the example of a
particular teacher there.  But the result, which I
found ridiculous, was that in a group of only about 20
or 30 people, you would go to a milonga and only dance
a couple of times, unless you had a steady partner and
the two of you were willing to challenge the status
quo and dance in the face of group indifference. 
Otherwise, you were welcome to imitate the old timers,
sitting at a little table, glowering at the floor, and
waiting for that perfect song and the perfect moment. 
You just weren't welcome to talk to them because they
were nursing their mufarse.  

It always seemed to me that influential members of
this second community had bought into a vision of "how
tango ought to be" which was appropriate to Buenos
Aires, where one could go any night of the week to any
of a large number of milongas, year after year.  In
those circumstances it is reasonable and appropriate
for a person who has been dancing for decades to use
the milonga as a place to meet friends and dance or
not as they see fit.  In a place which had only one
3-hour milonga a week the result was that the group
stayed small and was not able to readily integrate new
people (who desperately needed the time on the floor
and the experience of dancing with a variety of
people) or to cheerfully invite visitors when they
appeared.

You can guess which group I prefer.  And yet I myself
dance different amounts on different days, sometimes a
few as three or four tandas in a four-hour stretch,
sometimes on the floor continuously except to take a
drink.

Marisa 

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