[Tango-L] Women leading III

[Caroline Polack]

"At this point I wish to ask : Why do you like to dance as a man? or as a
leader?"

Well, even your question is a bit off. Not  to mention your possibilities 
that only reason a woman would want to lead is because she either wants to 
be a teacher or she's "masculine" or she's a feminist.

>From what I understand, in Argentina, there's no "leader and follower", it's 
more like one shows the way and the other responds.

For me personally, what I like about leading, it shows interpretation of the 
music and also to give my partner a good time.

Also, it can be occasionally about wanting to be in control. Which is 
neither a masculine or feminine trait exclusively. Sometimes you would like 
a dance to be a very particular style, in which case, only way to make that 
happen is to take charge. I've seen some really bad male dancers and often 
thought to myself that if only someone would lead them in order to show by 
example what could be improved, whether it's footwork, rhythm, correct 
interpretation of music.

Last weekend, a stranger asked me to dance with him. He led, I followed. He 
danced so well. After the tanda, I turned to my regular dance partner and 
said, "if only you knew how much fun it can be as a follower." Then I 
realized right at that point that I wanted to learn how to lead so my 
partner gets to see how sublime it can be not to have to think about 
choreography or anything else, instead just go with your partner's flow. 
That entire giving up of control can actually be such a release/relief.

Not a bad idea for women to learn leading especially when women always 
outnumber the men at milongas. Makes me sad to see some of them sitting all 
night, waiting for a chance to dance at least one tanda. If I knew how to 
lead, I wouldn't think twice about asking them to dance with me, to have 
some fun. Heck, maybe they could teach me a few things that I could 
incorporate into my dancing as a follower.

And finally,  my partner. I love him but he's a male chauvinist pig 
sometimes. I would whole-heartedly encourage him to dance with other men so 
they could show him how to lead well. But I never would because he's so 
steadfastedly paranoid about anyone thinking him as gay, even in the privacy 
of a workshop session or a practica. It's too bad that he thinks that way 
because he's really limiting himself of opportunities to learn. Just trying 
to get him to be my follower in the privacy of my home is an arduous task 
and he would back off after 2 minutes.

It's frustrating when people don't open up their minds and try to be a 
little less linear. It's always going to cause problems for them in life if 
they don't allow themselves to see anyone else's perspectives but their own.

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