[Tango-L] women leading

[jackie ling wong]

greetings..

well i lead in buenos aires...  in classes and at the milongas..  i  
lead friends of mine who are very good and sensitive dancers.  i have  
also led an Argentine male friend of mine who is an excellent  
follower.  women seek me out in classes (argentine and visitors) and  
everyone is surprised that i , a woman, lead as well as i do.  i  
think i receive more compliments than complaints and surprisingly  
probably get asked to dance more after i lead.   maybe everyone is  
more forgiving because i am an norte americana.  :-)

why do i lead?  because i love the opportunity to interpret the music  
with a good follower (male or female)...  yes, i can also interpret  
the music as a follower but  it's not the same for me.

i have found that as a follower there are definitely, for lack of a  
better word, "masculine" qualities in my role and i also feel  
"feminine" qualities when i lead... so for me, it feels easy to make  
the transition with a slight adjustment.  it's very zen the  
conversation of tango.  the give and take...  the message...  maybe  
my asianess makes me more comfortable with this concept.  :-)

when we are following, we are always dancing another person's  
dance.... yes we have adornments etc...  but generally it's someone  
else's vocabulary.  on the other hand,  this is what makes being a  
follower so exciting because you never know what the leader will  
bring to the dance.   the unexpected...that moment when you  
connect... very powerful...but sometimes, i want to be the one who is  
leading the conversation... making the suggestions... setting the  
tone...  and of course listening to my partner's reply which opens  
the door for endless possibilities.

what's interesting is that i am probably more picky about who i dance  
with as a leader..   and i have tried to figure that out for myself.
one reason i'm sure is that i am small and have a chronic muscle  
issue so i can't dance to followers that are heavy or out of control.
i think the other is because of the reason i lead in the first  
place...  if a follower is basically "leading"  because they  
anticipate, are heavy and pull, or are just out of control than my  
role as leader is minimal.  i'm following again...it's no longer a  
conversation.

i guess i could say the same for following...  there are some leaders  
that want you to disappear as a follower... that's okay sometimes but  
i definitely prefer someone who wants me present.

this is the way i feel about what i do...  you're totally welcome to  
feel differently and to act differently...  but don't try to make me  
into you...

jackie
www.tangopulse.net