[Tango-L] Leading and following

[Trini y Sean (PATangoS)]

Hi Astrid,

Sean here. Very nicely put. In your descriptions, I think
the man's style must very much match his personality. I
think corresponding ideas could be expressed about women's
styles.

So a woman who by her nature dances in the first style,
with absolute "obedience" may be very wonderful to dance
with. But when this "obedience" is taught as the "correct"
way to dance to a woman with a different personality, then
something wonderful is lost. If she accepts this rule, then
she must surpress her personality, and dancing with her is
no fun at all.

Men are taught very early to discover and dance their own
style. Women then get to experience something different
with every man. But women are often taught to supress their
own style and conform to the man. So the men do not get to
experience the same variety.

Sean


--- astrid <astrid at ruby.plala.or.jp> wrote:

> 
> > If I lead a step and the woman answers with something
> different from what
> I
> > lead I have to assume that something is wrong.
> >
> > Either she does not know how to dance or she is trying
> to "back lead"
> (this
> > is to lead the leader when she is the follower) or she
> is trying to
> irritate
> > me on purpose : all reasons for me not to ask her to
> dance with me again.
> 
> Well, there are leaders, and there are leaders. There is
> the one type of
> leader who may be a great dancer, but his lead demands
> absolute "obedience",
> meaning, following at all times, no space to insert
> little firuletes, no way
> for the woman to slow down on a step and add some
> suspense. This may still
> be a good and enjoyable dance, but he demands that the
> woman be part of
> "his" dance at all times.
> 
> Then there is a second type of great leader, the one who
> really dances for
> the woman, he leads, but in a way that makes the woman
> melt and let go in
> his arms, so that she surrenders and will follow him
> gladly and blindly in
> whatever he does, and the space between them has become
> blurry, and you
> don't really feel anymore where one ends and the other
> one begins. (this is
> who I think of as the genuine "macho" in the Argentine
> meaning)
> 
> And then there is a third type of good leader, who I call
> the "creative
> leader" and he may be one of that "new man"-generation.
> The kind of leader
> that is very sensitive to the woman, and notices all the
> little things she
> would like to do. If she wants to insert an adorno, he
> gives her time and
> space. If she wants to change the speed of a step before
> she closes her
> feet, he will join in with that variation joyfully. And
> if she wants to
> insert an extra step, or start an extra turn, or alter
> his lead in whatever
> other way, he feels it and plays along with it, smoothly.
> 
> > Unless we are friends at a practica and then I would
> ask her "what is
> wrong
> > with you today?"
> >
> > I assume that I lead properly and that I allow time and
> space in the dance
> > for the woman to express herself as she wishes. I am
> concious that I am
> the
> > leader and she is the follower, any deviation of those
> principles (IMO)
> are
> > in violation of the rules of the dance.
> 
> Naturally, the man is basically the leader, and the woman
> is basically the
> follower, but if there is a slight variation in the
> energy of who does what
> (see above with the "creative leader") and a man sees
> that as a reason not
> to ask her to dance again, I would say, it is more an
> indication of a
> shortcoming in the man's dance than the problem of the
> woman. Wasn't it
> Gavito who said:"I indicate, she moves, and then I follow
> her"? A man who
> cannot follow at all is not a fully developed dancer, in
> my opinion.
> (just like a lover who cannot deal women on top...)
> 
> Humbly
> Astrid
> 
> 
> 
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