[Tango-L] Leading and following

[astrid]

> If I lead a step and the woman answers with something different from what
I
> lead I have to assume that something is wrong.
>
> Either she does not know how to dance or she is trying to "back lead"
(this
> is to lead the leader when she is the follower) or she is trying to
irritate
> me on purpose : all reasons for me not to ask her to dance with me again.

Well, there are leaders, and there are leaders. There is the one type of
leader who may be a great dancer, but his lead demands absolute "obedience",
meaning, following at all times, no space to insert little firuletes, no way
for the woman to slow down on a step and add some suspense. This may still
be a good and enjoyable dance, but he demands that the woman be part of
"his" dance at all times.

Then there is a second type of great leader, the one who really dances for
the woman, he leads, but in a way that makes the woman melt and let go in
his arms, so that she surrenders and will follow him gladly and blindly in
whatever he does, and the space between them has become blurry, and you
don't really feel anymore where one ends and the other one begins. (this is
who I think of as the genuine "macho" in the Argentine meaning)

And then there is a third type of good leader, who I call the "creative
leader" and he may be one of that "new man"-generation. The kind of leader
that is very sensitive to the woman, and notices all the little things she
would like to do. If she wants to insert an adorno, he gives her time and
space. If she wants to change the speed of a step before she closes her
feet, he will join in with that variation joyfully. And if she wants to
insert an extra step, or start an extra turn, or alter his lead in whatever
other way, he feels it and plays along with it, smoothly.

> Unless we are friends at a practica and then I would ask her "what is
wrong
> with you today?"
>
> I assume that I lead properly and that I allow time and space in the dance
> for the woman to express herself as she wishes. I am concious that I am
the
> leader and she is the follower, any deviation of those principles (IMO)
are
> in violation of the rules of the dance.

Naturally, the man is basically the leader, and the woman is basically the
follower, but if there is a slight variation in the energy of who does what
(see above with the "creative leader") and a man sees that as a reason not
to ask her to dance again, I would say, it is more an indication of a
shortcoming in the man's dance than the problem of the woman. Wasn't it
Gavito who said:"I indicate, she moves, and then I follow her"? A man who
cannot follow at all is not a fully developed dancer, in my opinion.
(just like a lover who cannot deal women on top...)

Humbly
Astrid