[Tango-L] What do you want from tango

[Michael]

There's been quite a bit of writing about dancers not taking classes to improve. Some have written women don't want to take classes. Others say its men.

We really need to step away from the gender complaints and look at it from a people perspective.

I've had this discussion many times with my teacher. "Why would anybody accept dancing terribly?" Well, if you're in a community of terrible dancers, you don't know good dancing so you don't have a basis of comparison.

Not everybody wants to reach their potential. Some are content to dance badly. They don't want to dance well. Their attitude is "just show me enough so I can get up on the floor." Just because I want to reach my potential  doesn't mean everybody wants to reach their potential. 

There are women I won't dance with because it's no fun for me. It feels like I'm driving a bus (before they had power steering.)

Every dancer has to answer the question "Is no tango better than bad tango?" If "bad tango" is the answer, then better dancers are sending a message that quality doesn't count if they continue to dance with poor dancers. When quality becomes more important than quantity, maybe the word will get out that to dance with a better dancer, you have to be a better dancer.

Everybody comes to tango for different reasons. For some, it's the dance. For others, this is where I find my next spouse or intimate other. I remember one man told me that a woman was "auditioning" men to be her boyfriend by dancing with them.

Why don't we just call it straight? There are dancers with a professional attitude "I want to be my best" and there are those who just don't care. 
I remember Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion (the basis for the musical "My Fair Lady.") We can't turn other people into what we want them to be. I stopped dancing with one woman. It wasn't important for her to fix her pivot problem. I couldn't lead her in molinetes. I finally stopped banging my head against the wall telling her to pivot. I just stopped dancing with her. She's not happy about it. I told her to do something about it. She did. She found somebody else!! Now, it's his problem!!

This blunt talk reminds me of the movie "A few good men." Col. Nathan R. Jessep yells "You can't handle the truth." Maybe that's why the better dancers don't tell the truth to those who don't want to improve.

Michael Ditkoff
Washington, DC
Two more weeks till the all night milonga in New York. Hoping N and O are there.