[Tango-L] Elitism

[tango@kidojo.it]

Hi Charles,

about being refused: also about that I wrote in the book... one thing, just 
invite One new person every milonga you go... that would be already super! 
Being refused hurts - activate the same cerebral zone...


Charles Roques wrote:


>I want to spread good tango karma, give back something to this dance that 
>has enriched my life.  I see a newbie not
> being asked to dance. I ask her to dance. We do the best we can, nothing 
> flashy, just a simple dance. But now better followers, especially those 
> who are visiting from out of town  who dont know me well, ignore my 
> cabaceo, assuming that the previous partner i had is "the best i can
> do."
>
> I think your perceptions are open to interpretation.  That may not be the 
> reason they are not choosing to dance with you.   I have had the exact 
> opposite happen in Buenos Aires when I sat a long time at "Lo de Celia" 
> wondering why no women were responding  to my cabeceo, especially one in 
> particular.  Then I realized that they didn't know me and didn't know if I 
> could dance well or not.  I asked a beginner to dance and she didn't dance 
> very well, but it got me on the floor and after that I got responses the 
> rest of the night.  If you are a good dancer it will show, whether you 
> dance with a beginner or an advanced dancer.
>
> i used to be guilty of the gymnastics myself, but I've come to realize 
> that's not the real fulfillment of tango, there is no subtlety or emotion 
> to it, and when i watch it done, usually poorly, i am bored to tears,  so 
> my dance these days is much simpler and quieter.
>
> Perhaps they remember you from before. ;-)
>
> Anyway, after a tanda with a newbie, the clique followers do not want to 
> chance being seen dancing with me
> for fear of catching the same stigma, and then not being invited by the 
> elite alpha dogs in the room.  So they wont chance a tanda with me.
>
> Again you are interpreting this. Being refused is damaging to the ego but 
> it's part of tango.
>
> Cheers,
> Charles
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