[Tango-L] Truth in stereotypes

[Susan Munoz]

I've been on Tango-L for years and have learned so much from almost all of you.  
I stopped actively participating (contributing) years ago because -- for me -- 
and that's all I can speak to, I found many of the responses unnecessarily harsh 
and it "felt" personal.  I offer the thought that (more simply) there may 
be gender differences in communication.  Often times, not always, I find the 
female gender can be a little more sensitive to critiquing and perceive the 
responses to be harsher judgments, then perhaps was the intent.  (Notice I'm 
attempting to give the benefit of doubt, knowing I can be overly sensitive, 
myself, at times.)  I "try" to sift through the egoic-driven comments that 
sometimes we human beings are prone to make to get to the 
information.  Sometimes, it reminds me of what a real estate friend said to me 
not so long ago:  There are two ways to have the tallest building: either build 
it yourself or tear the others down.  What becomes a challenge is when we try to 
make others wrong, in order to make ourselves right.  One individual in the 
these recent posts made a comment to me that we tango dancers have our own 
healthy supply of egos.  So, maybe it's not gender related, maybe it's not even 
ego related, and maybe it's not even tango dancer related, rather, it's more 
communication 101 related..... which, I don't know about you, but I can always 
improve upon.




________________________________
From: Charles Roques <c.roques at mchsi.com>
To: "Tango-L at mit.edu List" <Tango-L at mit.edu>
Sent: Wed, February 2, 2011 1:58:02 PM
Subject: [Tango-L] Truth in stereotypes


I personally think Sherrie has a legitimate complaint and I am a male.  I am 
always admonishing my male students about teaching.  They start doing that from 
the beginning class but it gets worse after they learn a few steps.  Teachers 
have to not only emphasis this but they should correct and constantly remind the 

males/leaders to not do it.  Yes, she is generalizing but many males tend to 
reinforce this generalization.  I also notice that it's the males who 
over-intellectualize the most on the Tango-L  demonstrating more their use of 
language than actually explaining clearly some point about tango, as if their 
intellect makes them better dancers.  This is the same attitude they bring to 
the dance floor and practicas.  

In fact they tend to dominate the discussions on Tango-L as well.  I think 
Sherrie has a valid point.  


Cheers,
Charles
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