[Tango-L] invitation

[sherpal1@aol.com]

i am a teacher of tango....i teach men to lead , i do not teach on the 
dance floor.... I charge for lessons...I have danced and studied tango 
since 1998 and I know what is necessary for a woman to follow from a 
man who is trying to lead.   the assumptions that have been made about 
me, my skills, my position in the tango community are incredible...what 
i said initially ,which was never met with a rejoinder(an answer to a 
reply) was this:  "the man creates a space that invites the woman to 
move into, not pushing or shoving, but inviting"  as gavito said," the 
lead moves the woman away from the space(position) he wants to occupy." 
  I think this is a very sophisticated, philosophical statement of lead 
and follow, and no one hooked onto it...it is the essence of lead and 
follow, but no one related to this statement, to maul it over, chew on 
it, twirl it around in one's mind...people who proposed the lead/follow 
dillema did not relate to this concept at all...that is what leads me 
to think there is no communication or dialogue at all with the male 
members on this list with the experiences of the female 
dancers/followers/;philosophers/teachers/milongueras  on this list.  To 
me, this lack of "listening/relating" is a metaphor for the problems 
leads complain about on this list.  If what is said is anytihng like 
what is led in the tango, no wonder there are problems for men.

One more thing:  if women are as aggressive and complaining as you say 
they are, in criticizing your dance, you need to find new women, for 
that behavior is unthinkable in a proper tango community.  Or if that 
is not the problem and no matter what you do does not please the 
follows, then ..maybe you should think about finding another dance, 
because maybe tango is not your metier....and ladies, if you do not 
like the way a man dances, don't dance with him, but if you accept, do 
not use him as whipping post to chastise his inadequicies...sherrie