[Tango-L] La Norteamericana y la Portuguesa (WAS Re: the fear of close embrace)

[Shahrukh Merchant]

The title of this "close embrace" thread reminded me of a little
episode, actually two related episodes.

One evening I was at La Viruta (a place I normally avoid, but hey, the
girl wanted to go there ...) with a female friend from the US. She was a
swing dancer of many years but had never danced Tango before coming to
Buenos Aires, where she had since been learning Tango for some months.
We had never danced Tango together before that evening.

As soon as we took the embrace, she squirmed and said, "Oh, I prefer
open embrace." The only hold she was comfortable with was one where my
chest was a good 8-10 inches away from hers, and my right hand was just
barely on the near side of her back. Sort of like the "6-year-old boy
dancing with his little sister" hold.

"Oh god, this is going to be a LONG tanda!" I thought. But she got
comfortable with a slightly closer hold after the first song, we
survived the tanda, went back to the table, and a couple of glasses of
champagne later I asked her, "OK, you told me you learned Tango in
Buenos Aires during the last 8 months you've been living here, right?"

"Yes, that's right," she said."

Well, the two (three?) glasses of champagne had probably made me a
little less diplomatic than I would normally be, but I blurted out,
half-teasingly, since I really was curious, "So tell me: How did you end
up dancing like a norteamericana having learned and danced Tango only in
Buenos Aires from Argentine teachers?!"

Just a shrug of the shoulders from her (not even a dirty look), but
"Nature vs. nurture" experts on the list are welcomed to speculate
further on this ...

[OK, I may be guilty of over-generalizing, but the fact remains,
notwithstanding Alexis' correctly pointing out that exceptions exist,
that pretty much only (a) Tango tourists (though not all, of course),
(b) those who teach them, and (c) performers, dance with that kind of
embrace in Buenos Aires, whether accompanied by exaggerated nuevo
figures or not.]

But I digress. This is only half the story (which does have a happy ending).

Fast forward about two weeks to Niño Bien (a small improvement already).

I asked a Portuguese girl to dance, and after the first song (which we
danced in what I thought to be a normal close embrace), she paused,
looked a little uncomfortable at what she wanted to say, and then
finally asked me, "Do you mind if I ask you a favour?"

"Not at all," I said, "Please, tell me."

"Well, you see," she said in a slightly broken English, "I'm really only
used to dancing in a close embrace." She continued, and this is now an
exact quote (emphasis is mine), "WOULD YOU MIND HUGGING ME MORE STRONGLY?"

Viva Portugal! I think I'm overdue for a visit.

Shahrukh