[Tango-L] The fear of close embrace

[Michael]

Two years ago, I met a woman at a ballroom and Latin dance weekend. She danced very well but not Argentine Tango. We fell out of contact but recently reunited by a mutual friend. She started tango lessons and had reservations about dancing close embrace.

That's when it dawned on me that there aren't classes nor workshops on what it means to dance close embrace. This is a class about feelings, not technique.

For example, I've heard women say "I'm not going to dance close embrace until I know the man better." (Is she expecting to date him first or send his fingerprints to the FBI for a background check?)

Tango is a flirtatious dance. Some women think they send a sexual message, almost inviting a man to an encounter after the milonga if they dance close embrace. Men have their own reasons for not dancing close embrace.

When I went to BA in April 2009, everybody danced close embrace at the milongas I attended. (Of course, I couldn't attend all 1600 milongas in two weeks.) Argentine women didn't have any problem dancing close embrace with me, sometimes feeling like I was in a straightjacket. Clearly, the Argentines aren't protective of their "personal space" whereas North Americans are very possessive of their "space." My teacher said "Before we can embrace others, we have to be able to embrace ourselves."  It took a while to understand and feel the importance of the statement before I became comfortable dancing close embrace.

I feel a lot of people have fears about dancing close embrace. Unless they have a great teacher or tango support group to discuss these feelings, dancers carry these fears to the milongas.

Michael
I danced Argentine Tango --with the Argentines
Washington, DC