[Tango-L] Male / Female - Defining the different roles.

[Trini y Sean (PATangoS)]

--- On Fri, 10/29/10, Jack Dylan <jackdylan007 at yahoo.com> wrote:

"Sean, you may well be right but I'd like to hear more about your views."

Jack also wrote: "The man is the leader and must surely take responsibility for the dance."

Sean replies: I normally don't attempt to lead the woman. I dance, and I trust her to dance with me. Of course there are exceptions, such as if the woman is very insensitive, contrary, or just passive. Ironically, many women tell me that I am easier to follow than any of the other men, even some who are arguably better dancers. And it works as well with beginners as it does with very experienced dancers. Generally, I only have problems / frustration dancing with intermediate women who believe they need to be lead.

I would like to propose the idea that there are more possibilities for two people to dance together than just lead and follow. It's my opinion that a lead-follow relationship is in fact the least satisfying of the possibilities that I have experienced. I'm not a fan of Michael's interleading either; it just sounds like double the trouble.

Traditionally, it is the man's responsibility to choreograph the dance. But as far as I can tell, there is no need to lead the choreography. If I dance it, I have found that women will dance it with me. I would say that that is her responsibility, certainly not a passive role. (There must be other methods of communicating choreography besides lead-follow?) 

Jack: "Yes, the lady can make great contributions with what happens between the steps and can, occasionally, if the man is sensitive, even influence the man's next lead"

Sean: It's my opinion that it is the woman's responsibility to make great contributions and influence the dance. There are limits to my charity and generosity. I want synergy. 

Last thought: If I dance, and she dances with me, then it follows (no pun intended) that she dances, and I dance with her as well. 

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Credit Due: I wish I could remember which maestro first said "I dance, and she dances with me.", but I was too inexperienced to appreciate it, and I lost the origins in the jumble of 100s of workshop memories.

Many of these ideas grew from seeds planted by two different Daniels from opposite ends of the tango sphere.

Those seeds were nurtured by women who dance, rather than those who merely follow.