[Tango-L] cabaceo/rejection

[dierdre black]

First of all, I'm not sure you should generalize, there, TT.  (Apparently, you have some issues, with women and honesty.Too bad you think "the female mind" is a bad thing, instead of appreciating it's yin to your yang.)  Perhaps, you are applying your culture's codes on a deeply dishonest(or should I say, rather: "seductive", "fantasy", "playful") Argentinian dance/system, also.    

My suggestions, were simply:
1. typical, Argentinian follower's codes, used forever, to avoid uncomfortable social tango situations.  2.  to allow possible partners to save face, now and find another, with no hard feelings, avoiding later conflicts, in other milongas...so, that, perhaps, someday, in the future, when he improves, or my mood changes, etc., we have no "baggage" and  
3. most importantly, protect myself, from injury, since I am 60, arthritic, dance alot, here, in BA and don't need to be limping about, if at all possible, obviously. Before accepting any advances, I always scope the leaders out(as they do the followers, for the same and different reasons), to "choose" with whom I want to spend some tango time. If that is "not having cojones", so be it.  Since I'm a woman, I have no strong desire there, contrary to Freudian theory, haha! Not sure it's such a desirable quality, anyway, in this situation. Personally, am more interested in being refined, compassionate, elusive and flexible. 

db

db   

--- On Wed, 10/27/10, The Tango tramp <luffthead at peoplepc.com> wrote:

From: The Tango tramp <luffthead at peoplepc.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] cabaceo/rejection
To: "dierdre black" <dblioness2000 at yahoo.com>
Date: Wednesday, October 27, 2010, 6:43 PM

Thanx for the incite into the female mind and this is the same mind that demands honesty in relationships. At least have the cahones to look someone in the face and say "no thanx".

-----Original Message-----
>From: dierdre black <dblioness2000 at yahoo.com>
>Sent: Oct 27, 2010 4:31 PM
>To: Tango-L at mit.edu
>Subject: [Tango-L] cabaceo/rejection
>
>At the expense of sounding arrogant/snobby.........I have found if I am more discriminating and patient in choosing whom I will accept as my tango partners(ignoring some cabaceos by looking under the table for some lint, whatever), I have more than enough dances; avoid being a wallflower and in addition, am not injured or bored, at the end of it all.  Followers don't have to be ridiculously rude, unless the guy is dense and harassing them.......better to flit off to the bathroom, out "for a smoke", or something, to allow a win-win situation, for all. 
>
>d black/BA(where the ex prz died, today!!!!)
>
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>      
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