[Tango-L] Cabaceo & SAYING "NO"

[Patricia Katz]

"A woman who is good also needs to understand that she will have a big
effect in influencing the quality of the men's dancing in her community.  If
she expects them to come up to her standard.  If she doesn't lower her own.
She needs to be the muse.  If she wants to help the men in the community
improve their dance, she needs to learn to say "no".

How can a woman who is "good" indicate in a polite way to a leader who is
not as "good" that she won't dance with him now, but in time as he improves
she will? I see many leaders with very good potential stay at a level that
is below their ability; these leaders don't take workshops or privates when
very good teachers are in town. It seems most women will dance with them,
even the very " good" women and then these women complain about these
leaders lack of navigation, embrace, not listening to the music etc. These
leaders feel  that  because they are very rarely refused there is no need to
improve; these followers feel that if they refuse then they won't dance and
it seems they would prefer to dance with a poor leader than sit out for a
number of tandas.
A few of the so-called better leaders in our community use the walking
cabaceo or sitting cabaceo which is generally well-received by those
followers who understand what the cabaceo is all about.